Girly Girl

Callie does like playing with cars and dinosaurs, but she's a girly girl at heart. While we wait for Sammy during therapy, Callie heads for the house and the pink castle over in the toy corner of the waiting room. Stacking rings she puts around her wrist to wear as bracelets. She loves her headbands, and just today was thrilled with herself after putting one on Sammy. When I put my make-up on, she comes into the bathroom so I can brush my powder brush across her cheeks. She'll smile ready for the day, and walk out. And Callie is all about shoes. She loves shoes and knows what it means when it's time to put them on. "Siiiiii?" (Outside?) It's so cute!

Sammy is Promoted

I did not sleep well last night. It's been happening a lot lately. I think it's the heat. Not sure though. When Sammy woke up at 6:30am, I was too tired. I shut our bedroom door and went back to bed. At 7:00am I got up, took a shower, and went in for Sammy. I held her as she quickly fell asleep in my arms. About 1/2 hour later, she had a seizure. It was so intense that we decided to give her Diastat (her emergency medication), which is Valium really, and she is now knocked out. I held her for about an hour, but she's now contently sleeping on the couch.

Times like these bother me. First, it's hard to see such a tiny little girl have to go through so much. And, that leads to my second issue -- it just doesn't seem fair. Yesterday Marcus shared with me something rather surprising, and today it makes my issues #1 and #2 a little less important.

This week is Girls' Camp in Marcus' home stake. My mother-in-law was asked to speak. Her talk was entitled

"Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust."

Peggy shared with these young women and their leaders parts of her faith building experiences because of Samantha. I hope she doesn't mind if I share this...but there was a time when she believed if her faith was strong enough, Samantha would be made whole. I believed that as well. And, there was a time when I thought that's what Heavenly Father wanted from me, faith strong enough to heal her, an opportunity for us to see His hand in our lives, to witness a miracle. I have since learned that He does want that, but the faith He asks is not for Samantha's healing, but maybe for my own. He has shown us His hand, and we have certainly witnessed miracles, though different than what I had originally expected. Our family, immediate and extended, has always been close. However, I believe that Samantha has strengthened our bonds. Individually, we have all have grown in faith. Our prayers are more sincere. Our testimonies more solid. Our hearts much fuller. Each member of our family feels a special love for Samantha, a love that has transformed us, and a love that is there because of our spiritual and emotional investment, and because she's just so darn cute. Furthermore, we have been prompted to venture into the land of adoption, a scary, unfamiliar territory that has brought us immense joy. Our lives were made more complete when Callie entered the picture. She brings us so much happiness and laughter, and we truly love her.

I wasn't there to witness it, but I believe her talk was well-received because that night, the leaders decided that our little Sammy was going to be more than a cute little girl, more than a good example in a talk...she's been promoted to mascot for the week. Each girl will get a picture of Sammy to have with them all week long to remind them of the things Peggy shared -- faith in a greater plan and trust in our Father in Heaven. Sammy also reminds me of my divine potential. Because of her physical and mental limitations, it may seem that her potential here on earth is stunted. But when you spend any amount of time with her, it's her spirit that people feel, and that is the reminder of the person I would like to be. I love her. And if all this good is coming because of the difficult experiences she must endure, then something tells me that she's ok with that -- because she's definitely stronger than I am.

L-O-S-E-R

Yesterday I sold an item on craigslist for $15. Yeah!
Yesterday I sold an item on eBay for $5.50. Yeah!
Today, I shipped that eBay item for $7.60! Crud! Next time I won't offer free shipping, or I'll definitely start my price higher. Grrr.

Sugar-Free Green

Yep, I'm doing it. Marcus is excited about it. He's up for the challenge. So that's good. I went out today and refreshed some of my veggies and fruit stash so I'd have some stuff to munch on while I deprive myself of all that is good in this world. I also bought some sugar-free jello for my weaker moments. I should make that up now so it'll be ready when I start to crash. But, I really think I can do it. I'm just going a month. I know that's not extremely long or anything. But we are going to to Disney World in August and I'm not stupid enough to try to do a sugar fast in Disney -- the land of perpetual childhood, fun, and...treats. Wahoo! Here's to sugar deprivation!

Sugar...ah Honey Honey

I'm like a little personal challenge from time to time. I like to push myself, see how far I can go. Lest I be confused as a motivated person, let me reiterate "from time to time." Because really, I'm not too big on the idea of failure either. This time last year, I signed up for the Provo River 1/2 Marathon. I prepared for a month (though I had been running for a few months previous), and off I went. I did it. Wahoo! I proved to myself I could do it.

Today, I felt that urge again to challenge myself. The past couple days we've had candy around the apartment. I have gone crazy. CRAZY I tell you! I have no self control. Really. I just don't. Part of it is because I don't want to have self-control when it comes to pure sweetness. It hasn't been that important to me. But today, as I was thinking about the past 3 days, I realized that this is something I want to try: the dreaded sugar fast. "No Jenny," you say. "Think before you act!" But, I've been thinking, and the more I think, the more I feel like this would really be a test of my self-control. It would challenge me. And it would help with the whole self-mastery thing that people talk about.

I'm thinking of starting off small. For one month, I'd eat no dessert, no candy, no juice, no yummy animal crackers. Natural sugars are ok only if they are from the actual fruit. Somehow I'm thinking this won't be too bad for a month. Will it? I've been watching my calories lately, but not my sugar intake. This may be harder than I thought. hmmm I need support or encouragement from those who have done it. One month, 4 weeks, not bad right? Can I do this?

I'm In Love

with this little girl's giggle...

and her smile.
(And, in all honesty, with her outfit too. She looks so cute in this with those black leggings!)

Check Out the Shades

I picked up these sunglasses for Callie the other day. They are a big hit around here.

SMILE!!!

And apparently Sammy thinks it's all quite funny.

Oh, So Funny

My dad doesn't pass along forwards, so when he does, they are usually pretty good. This one got me laughing so hard. Perhaps it's the time of night...but this really got me. Enjoy.

God's Creations Right Here in My Home

Callie is quite the people pleaser. I can't go anywhere without her drawing attention to herself. It's hard enough getting two kids to go anywhere quickly, but with Callie, this really is no easy task. Getting out the door is fine, but once we enter the large world of people, she goes crazy. She smiles so big and is constantly waving to people saying "Hi" or "bye" or blowing kisses to them. People love it. And if someone has a baby or puppy with them, it's over. She wants to meet them, and you know these other people are thrilled to do so. They love that this little child takes delight in them and their children or puppies. It really is quite adorable.

Today there was an elderly couple sitting outside of our doctor's office. As we came through the door, they stopped their conversation, saw Callie, and did the grandparent laugh -- ya know, the look-at-that-cute-little-kid laugh. Of course Callie stopped and waved to them giving them a big toothy smile and a little giggle. Oh did these two melt in their wheelchairs! Callie blew them a kiss and we walked away. Behind me, the man said, "There goes one of God's creations right there." I thought about that for a long time. That's not an everyday thought I have. Rather, I think, "Let's go." "Callie, share." "Sammy, can you stop crying just for a sec?" But that man was right. I have two of God's best creations right here in my own home. Lucky me.

A Child's Prayer

Not my own child...but a prayer dedicated to my child.

A Prayer Over Dinner

Jayden: Heavenly Father, please bless Callie and her Mom to be nice. Please bless Callie to be nice. And please bless Callie to be nice. Amen.

Amanda, Jayden's mother, thought this was quite funny and called us after the prayer was said. My immediate thought was that Callie had not been so nice to this little boy in nursery. She's been known, afterall, to yell "NO" at approaching children as she protects her toy. She has also been known to hit Samantha with a sippy cup. Who knows what happened in nursery on Sunday! But when asked by his mommy what was wrong and why he prayed for Callie to be nice, he said, "Nothing, Callie's my friend." What a relief. My kid isn't the bully.

Hey Jayden, go ahead, keep praying for your friend Callie. It's appreciated.

Cataldo Mission

Yesterday Marcus had work off. This is rare, and so I wanted to use it to our advantage...or, my advantage rather. Marcus isn't fond of packing up the kids and going on little trips. It's too much of a hassle. Luckily, he loves me enough to do it anyway, and without one complaint. So, thanks Marcus. Anyway, we took the little-over-an-hour drive to Cataldo, Idaho where stands Idaho's oldest building. We had a perfectly wonderful day.

First things first ... Callie had to run around.

And we needed to have some lunch.

Callie went for the juice box instead of eating through the stroller.

Then we looked around. Callie posed underneath the Old Mission Bell.

Marcus and Callie in front of the mission.

Me and Sammy in front of the Parish home.

As we were leaving, we saw the Mission Cemetary. There were a couple headstones, but the plaque said, though they don't have an official count, they believe close to 300 are buried in this cemetary. Some of the burial sites can be seen by bumps in the ground, etc. In this picture, you can see a row of these "bumps" in the ground -- most likely graves. We were able to walk around the cemetary, and I started to feel very uncomfortable knowing I was probably walking over many of these people. I was surprised it was open to the public like this, especially because this mission had Native Americans living at the site -- so most certainly there are Native Americans buried here. So, because they were Christian we could walk over them? We started to feel a little squirmish and left.

As we left the cemetary, we came across a small mining area. There were some tools that were cemented to the ground to show the types of tools that were used. Marcus took this picture of me "using" what we believe is a jackhammer. After he took it, he said, "Woa! Look at your arms!" So I made Marcus pose so we could get a glimpse his guns....

and he turned into the Incredible Hulk.

When we got home, we looked through our pictures and noticed Samantha's arm! I think this is the most impressive of the bunch. Look at that bicep! It's like someone put a golf ball in her arm. Really! She's 3 years old! Callie's got a lot of work to do.

But for now, we'll just let her sleep.