Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury

I loved this book. I LOVED this book and it's now in my Top #10 list. This book was such a departure from the Ray Bradbury I know. This was sentimental and so beautifully written, capturing the essence of summer 1928. But the truth is, every chapter, all the details, reminded me of my own summers growing up in Michigan. Each chapter was almost its own short story. And it made me think about my own neighborhood, or my own circle of friends...what is going on, what chapter could be written about each of them? Reading the book I was heartbroken, encouraged, sad, filled with hope, scared...it was intense and, again, beautiful.

I read Danelion Wine for book club, and the word that kept going through my mind was magical and romantic. Filled with imagry and this theme of life and death, I was constantly reflecting on my own life and how I choose to live it. Am I experiencing life? Am I soaking in all it has to offer? Am I learning from others' experiences? Am I living?

I could read this book annually. It was so well-written.

Death Coming Up the Hill by Chris Crowe

I read this last year but there are a few books that I loved and wanted to still write about. This is one of those books. I had pre-ordered this book. Then one day, it appeared on my wee kindle and it was perfect timing. I had just finished a book and was ready to dive into another. Truthfully, all I knew about this book before buying it is that I really like the author. That was good enough for me. But the surprise I got when I began reading...I didn't expect. I immediately, immediately, fell in love with it. I was hooked and did not want to put it down. I read it while at the gym, and I got some great LONG workouts on the treadmill because I just didn't want to stop.

I kind of don't even know where to begin when it comes to sharing all I loved about the book. The story itself is captivating. In all my reading years, I have actually never read a book about the Vietnam War. I've read a lot of books around the Civil War and WWII, but never Vietnam. So that caught me. Crowe did such a great job of sharing insights of each of the characters...so perfectly. Somehow I felt totally connected to this teenage boy. The things he carried and tried to deal with I have never experienced, yet, I was there with him. It was so well-written. I felt love and so much compassion for all of them, even when I was upset. And let's talk about emotions...I think I felt them all! I laughed. I seriously cried (on the treadmill...at the gym). I was frustrated and angry and hurt. I was so into this book.

I do that. I connect when I read. But this was particularly different. I think because the author made a genius move, in my opinion. The entire book is written in haiku. What?! Who in their right mind takes the time to do that? I can't even wrap my mind around taking the time to make the entire book work so perfectly like that. But it really made the story magical. Every word, I would assume, was so carefully chosen and placed. It really was beautiful...a work of art.

I can't say enough about this book. I've loved his other books, but I think this is my favorite. If I was still teaching in the classroom, I'd definitely use this as a part of my curriculum for it's study of history, social pressures and social "rules" of the time, issues then vs. now -- how they are different and the same, diction, poetry, imagery....I could go on.

It's among my favorite books in 2014.

A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park

I loved this book. It was so beautiful. To begin with, it is based on a true story...an incredible true story. Many are aware of the Lost Boys of Sudan. Back in the '80's there was war and a terrible amount of unnecessary death...murder. Families were destroyed in a blink of an eye as men with guns wiped out villages within moments. Some were able to escape...many young children traveling alone, seeking refuge.

Part of the book takes place in 1985. Salva is at school when gunshots rip through the village. He runs home to find he is alone. This book shares Salva's story. However, it is interwoven with Nya's story, an 11 year old girl from Southern Sudan in 2009. Each day, for her family to survive, she must fulfill her job of gathering water. It takes a large portion of her time and day. It is difficult work but needs to be done in order for their survival.

Salva is a real boy...now a man. After his experiences, he decided to add some good to the world. Salva started a foundation that drills wells in South Sudan. Water for South Sudan  is clearly a work of love. You can hear Salva's story here.

It's such a great read...one I plan on reading with Callie.

Yellow Crocus by Laila Ibrahim

Oh wow. I really enjoyed this book. It's a story of enduring love between two women, and how that love transcends social pressures, stigmas, and adversity. When Lisbeth is born, she is passed off to her wet nurse -- Mattie, a slave who has a 3 month old child, herself. Mattie cares for Lisbeth day and night, creating a bond much stronger than Lisbeth has with her own mother. As time goes on, their bond only strengthens. After time, they lose contact, but their stories are still woven together.

Though slavery is the basic story, themes of love, sisterhood, family, forced separation of slave families, social pressures, courage, personal power -- and the lack thereof -- are also scattered throughout the novel. It was a beautiful story. I loved it. 

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

 

I remember being in one of my college classes discussing new YA books that kids in high schools were reading. Speak came up. I had not read it and so could not contribute to the conversation. However, I do remember it being controversial. Class members took different stands on it and I remained fairly opinionless about the exact book. All I knew was that it involved rape. 

Just recently some friends of mine didn't want their 8th graders to read this book in their class. They felt it was too graphic and felt their children were too young to read it. Without reading the book beforehand, I supported their desire to have another book read. I suggested asking for an alternate book or asking that certain pages be passed over. As a high school English teacher myself, these were both very realistic and easy accommodations for a teacher to make. Is the book too graphic? I couldn't say. But what I did know was that it had been a point of discussions 10 years ago in my college class, and I also knew that these parents were concerned. Whether I agree that the book shouldn't be read or not, I 100% believe that parents should have a say in their children's education and that if they are uncomfortable with something, that a teacher should be able to figure out a way to accommodate them. (This topic of parent rights in a classroom could go on, but for now, I'll leave it there.)

So yes, I supported my friends and gave suggestions of how I felt they could appropriately handle the situation.

And I bought the book and read it.

And I loved it.

1) Subject Matter Speak addresses a very real issue that is a part of our children's lives. Rape isn't only happening to older kids or those running, listening to head phones, on a dark night along an ally. Rape is happening all. the. time. And I believe it's happening at younger ages as well. So, I actually loved how the author approached the topic. I completely related with the character and felt that her thoughts had been mine at one point in my life. It's a topic that needs to be handled with care, and I think the author writes about it in a way that brings reality to the picture...fear, sadness, guilt...these emotions were clear.

2) Writing  Anderson's writing is so good. So good. She's such a talented author. I've only read 2 of her books so far, but I have loved her writing in both. She has a way of really grabbing her reader and I always thoroughly enjoying reading her books...but more than that...I try to find time in my day just to read her writing. She's a very talented author.

3) Age Appropriate  hmm  The topic matter is age appropriate, but should it be taught in an 8th grade class? I taught high school. I could see using this book with my 11th graders. But I don't know if I would with an 8th grade class. It wasn't as graphic as I thought at all. It was tense. For sure. Emotion was strong and I felt afraid for her, but there wasn't anything explicit that I remember reading. I can't remember any details that made me uncomfortable. But I'm 34. I think for an 8th grader to read the book...perhaps it is too intense. Should we not teach the topic? I think if a teacher wants to discuss these social issues, it can be done in so many other ways. But if I had more than 3 parents who were concerned about a book, I would re-examine my strategy, choose other literature, and go from there. There's on shortage of literature in our world. A teacher can find other short stories, essays, books, articles, and songs to discuss any given theme. 

8th grade? This may be too young. Junior or senior in high school? It's probably worth a read if you feel your kids can handle the issue. Or, maybe especially if you think they can't handle the issue...perhaps it's a good book to introduce to them and discuss so they can develop their own opinions and action plans for if something like this were to happen to them or someone they know.

How To Raise Emotionally Healthy Children by Gerald Newmark, PhD

I admit, when I started reading this book, I thought I was reading How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children, but it wasn't until I was nearly done that I realized I was reading something else. Nevertheless, I really did like the book and felt like it gave some really good insight. (I still need to read the other one though).

In the very beginning, he states  his thesis:

There are five critical needs each child (and adult) has in order to develop and/or maintain emotional health. Those five needs are to feel respected, important, accepted, included, and secure.

You know what I love about books like this? They tell me stuff that I already know, but in a different way. What Dr. Newmark did for me was tell me what I know, but by classifying it into these 5 needs did something for me as a parent. If you notice, LOVE isn't one of the five needs. He doesn't explain it until later on in the book, but honestly, love didn't need to be there for me to understand that it's not a "need" for a child. Because if a child feels respected, important, accepted, included, and secure, don't they feel loved? Feeling loved is a natural positive consequence from creating an environment where there is security, acceptance, respect, inclusion, and a feeling a importance and value.

What I most appreciated in the book was the appendix where there are lists of ideas of activities and games to do as a family. I have felt a little bit in a rut lately, so having pages of ideas was great. It gave me a fresh view on family time.

We really try to do the right thing, to listen to our children and not push them away in annoyance, to explain things instead of just saying "because we're in charge," etc. But it was a good book to validate our actions and encourage us to continue on. It's a really good book.

Jane and Austen by Stephanie Fowers

I thought this was a really cute romantic comedy. Each of the characters were a little over the top, but it felt intentional. Jane...ultra-romantic. Austen...ultra-practical. I see more eye to eye with Austen, so Jane seemed so ridiculous to me at times. But it never bothered me. She played her part well. Or rather, the author wrote Jane well. I liked it. I looked forward to going to bed each night so I could keep reading. There are obvious comparisons to all of Jane Austen's work, which adds another element to fans of her writing. But for those who don't know her work too well, or at all, it's still easy to follow along. It's hectic and crazy and really fun. I do wish there was more detail that explained feelings Jane and Austen had in the beginning. I'm so curious. I wanted more of a sit-down-and-hash-it-out session where it was all figured out. When did Austen "change" his mind? I want to hear it all!

Super fun, light read. Perfect timing for me.

Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson

I loved this book. Loved. This. Book. Go out, right now, and somehow get this book in your hands because it's phenomenal. I couldn't put it down and am ready to read the next book, Forge, as Chains ended with a cliff hanger!

Chains is about a young girl, Isabella, who is a slave during the Revolutionary War. I've read about slavery during the Civil War, so this intrigued me. Right in the beginning, she is being sent/sold to a new household. You can read about the plot on Laurie Halse Anderson's website. See those awards on the book cover? They are there for a reason. It's an excellent excellent book.

What I want to share is why I found myself crying on the treadmill at the gym as I read Chains. I fell so in love with Isabella. I've always been drawn to books that held these themes and plots. In fact, if I had not gone the English teaching route, I would have just done English with African American Lit emphasis. But Isabella spoke to me in a way that other characters haven't yet. And I think it's because of my own family. I couldn't help but imagine Callie during some of these scenes. No, luckily she was not born during slavery. But I think of her family history. Chances are extremely high that slavery was a part of her biological line. And that breaks my heart, deeply. I thought of Callie being treated in some of the ways Isabella was and it made me weep. Isabella also has a sister, Ruth, who she tries to watch over...the best she can anyway while she's doing all her work. We find that Ruth has epilepsy and the seizures hit randomly. And I thought of Sammy, naturally. Just as Isabella is the protector of her sister, Callie is the same for Sammy in many ways. And the book became very personal.

It is so well written. Anderson shares a fantastic story while introducing beautiful characters. I loved it. I may just have to buy this book to have on our bookshelves.

Read it. Have your children read it. Then talk about it together.

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand

This book?  Incredible.  And I just found out, right now, that a movie is coming out in December!  Whaaaat?  What a great Christmas movie.  It better be good!  Seriously though, hands down one of the best books I've read.  I put it on my Top 10 list (which I don't have because really, how can anyone possibly begin the daunting task of limiting their favorite books to only 10?  I assure you, it's impossible!).

When we were in San Diego, I did some book talk with my sister whilst we laid poolside.  At the time I was reading 12 Years a Slave.  Loved it.  Great book.  She then told me about Unbroken.  She warned me it was long, but convinced me it was well worth my time.  Honestly if anyone else had recommended it to me, I probably wouldn't have jumped on it so quickly.  I have the attention span that's good for young adult literature.  Get to the story, keep it moving, make it snappy.  If the actualy book is too thick, I'm immediately turned off.  My professor referred to it at the Big Mac.  If a book is bigger than a bite from a Big Mac, no kid will want to read it.  I won't read it either.  I need to be REALLY convinced.  But since anything my sister tells me becomes canonized in my mind, I acted promptly.  (Definition of 'promptly' -- before finishing my other 2 books, I purchased Unbroken on my kindle and had it ready to go.  It helps that with a kindle I can't truly see how close to the Big Mac size it is.)

My sister's status remains up high on that pedestal because this book, holy freakin' cow, did not disappoint.  I loved it.

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Before I jump into the story, let me talk about the research necessary for a book of this caliber.  Laura Hillenbrand is incredible.  (She also authored Seabiscuit.)  Many may not know this, but apparently Hillenbrand struggles with illness, sometimes to the point where she can be bedridden for weeks at a time.  Sometimes she can't write for many days.  She is extremely thorough in her research, and because of her situation, often takes a very long time to publish a book.  However, when she does publish, it's golden.  I have a habit of reading the Acknowledgments section in the back of books.  I think it's because I hope to publish a book one day, and I would hope that, perhaps, that section has meaning to it.  Come on people, it's the Acknowledgements section.  Let's acknowledge people.  And let me tell you, I was amazed at how many people were involved in this book.  The research is impressive.

So, let's talk story.  Louis Zamperini, punk kid, turned Olympic athlete, turned bomber and defender of freedom, turned war prisoner in Japan.  The things he survived is beyond incredible from sharks to disgusting abuse and down right cruelty in various POW camps.  And when he finally gets home (this isn't a spoiler people...he gets home), the effects of those experiences start taking a toll.  How do you go on after living in Hell?  How do you function?  Where do you go from there?

I could go on and on, but all I want to say is this: I did not want to put the book down.  I stayed up way too late...into the wee hours of the morning...so I could keep reading.  I haven't done that in a very very long time.  I was captivated.  I was inspired.  And I believe my own faith was strengthened.  Zamperini's faith, humility, resilience, and plain character...maybe that's the real story.  And it reminds us all that there is always hope.  Always.

So worth the read.  Put it on your bucket list.  It's that good.


*** I just saw that Louis Zamperini, at age 97, passed away this past July.  He worked with Laura Hillenbrand when she wanted to write his story, and then worked with Angelina Jolie when she wanted to direct the movie.  He won't live to see it on screen, but he lived it.  And he lived it well.  People like Louis change lives.  So glad I read his story.

The Water is Wide by Pat Conroy

I recently joined a book club.  I love book clubs.  They make me happy.  There are two main reasons that I love book clubs:

1) I love all things BOOK.  I was an English teacher for a reason.  If we allow it, literature expands our minds and we are able to learn so much through others' written experiences.  In a book club, I'm exposed to books that I, perhaps, wouldn't normally pick up on my own.  I am able to share with others my thoughts, but more valuable to me is hearing what everyone else has to say.

2) As all the book clubs I've ever been a part of have been all women, it's some good Girl Time away from my daily stuff.  I love being a mom.  But let's get real.  A good discussion about books is not a part of my daily routine.  Book Club is great Me time that helps fill my vessel.

So, The Water is Wide was the first book I read for our new book club.  I liked it.  I really did.  Maybe, oh, 3 out of 4 stars.  I put it down thinking, "Oh, that was good."  But for some reason it's not among my list of books that I tell people, "You must read this!"  I'm not sure why it wasn't bumped up to that list for me, but it wasn't.  It was a great story, based on Pat Conroy's life experience, of a teacher (Conroy) who teaches on an island.  The children he teaches are impoverished African American children whose education has been pathetically neglected.  There is a school, yes.  But this school definitely does NOT meet the standards of any type of school we would now expect.  But back in 1969, Yamacraw Island and her struggling children were so easily overlooked.  Conroy comes to the island, ready to make a difference.  Time after time he is faced with challenges...that ultimately lead to his dismissal.  Yes.  The school board fires him.

We have the idealistic teacher.
We have the children who are neglected.
We have the children who don't care that their education has been neglected.
And the few children who do, and begin to absorb this new thing called learning.

And then there's the black teacher/principal, Mrs. Brown, who is too scared to make any white man with authority angry that she paralyzes herself.  There was a line at the end of the book when Conroy suggests that Mrs. Brown, is perhaps, the most tragic of the people involved in the story.  I agree.  She created her own prison built on insecurity and fear.  She knows better.  She sees the possibilities.  But she will not go against the Board because they hold the power.

She makes me think.

Because I was born in a middle class white home, and education was a priority, I'll never be like those kids on the island.  I have compassion for them, but I will never be like them.

I'm not like Dr. Piedmont, the all mighty man who sits on top and directs the board how he'd like.  I'm just not.  Our perspectives are too different.

Maybe I am a touch like Pat Conroy.  I have a desire to help others.  Sometimes, maybe, unrealistically.  After all, that is one reason we fundraise every year.  Yes, for Sammy, but we want to help make a difference in our community...if only bit by bit.

But Mrs. Brown.  She's scary because I wonder if there are times in my life when I'm like her...and I don't want to be like her.  Are there times when I build my own walls of insecurity...so I don't say anything, I don't stand up for something, I don't think outside the box...or, more likely, I DO but then don't act on it?  No matter what level it's on, I want to always have that confidence to do what needs to be done.  At times, it may mean following orders...but am I brave enough to know when to stand up when others are sitting?

Great book.  Made me think a lot about education, racism, poverty, and overall character.

Glad I read it.  Glad I'm in this book club.

Flora & Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo

What a fun book to read.  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It's a light children's book about a flying, superhero squirrel and his friend, Flora.  The characters are all really charming.  I loved them all -- all round and evolving.  I can imagine reading this with Callie one day.  It was fun but also touches on deeper issues in a very approachable way for children.  Friendship.  Family.  Love.  Courage.  Divorce.  Identity.  Self-esteem.  Fear.  Persistence.  Dedication.  Loyalty.  

One thing I loved was the format of the book.  Flora narrates most of the book, however occassionally we get a chapter from the squirrel.  (And the chapters are extremely short so you feel like you're accomplishing a lot by sitting down and reading 5 chapters!)  Every now and then, you get the story in a comic strip style as well.  It changes up the text a bit, giving good variety, but also having these tid bits of illustration.  It's so well done.
 

It wasn't until the end of the book when I realized the author was Kate DiCamillo (I just got it on my kindle without too much investigation) -- who wrote Because of Winn Dixie, which I also loved reading last year.  She's a skilled children's chapter book author.  If these 2 books of hers that I've read are an indication of how great her other books are...I love her.

Girls On The Edge by Leonard Sax M.D, PhD

Girls on the Edge -- he breaks it down into 4 areas where are girls are being attacked and we need to really watch and help guide our daughters.

* Sexual Identity -- Our girls are being way over sexualized.  He discusses the difference between being sexual and sexualized.  Bluntly put, many our little girls look like hoochie mamas.  Many of us think it's cute that they wear clothing that makes them look like little adults...but is it going too far?  His argument would be yes, and that we need to be really careful how we not only dress our children, but the images they see of other women.  It does send a message that we need to be "cute" (at best) or "sexy" (at worst) for boys.  When girls dress for themselves, they usually pick much different clothing.  Is it ok to look nice, of course...but keep it modest.

* Cyberbubble -- Any surprise here?  Facebook and other social media is out of control for many of these kids, and it's damaging.  Cyber Bullying, comparisons constantly being made, etc.

* Obsessions -- Girls have a tendancy to want to be perfect.  Boys don't struggle with that as much.  (These are generalized statements of course.)  For boys, the overall problem seems to be increased laziness while girls are pushing themselves more and more to the edge until they fall off.  What is the result?  Massive increase of eating disorders, cutting, drinking, academic stress, and sports are just a few he names.  The ultimate issue here, though, is girls just not know who they are...so they tend to cling to these obsessions to form their identities with potentially catostrophic results.  I'm a runner.  I'm the top student.  I'm thin.  I'm the party girl.

* Environmental Toxins -- Girls are starting puberty earlier and earlier -- so much so that doctors are now saying, "Yep, starting puberty at 7 or 8 years old is in the normal range."  Whaaaat?!  Girls who start puberty earlier have an increased risk for drinking, sexual promiscuity, etc.  Furthermore, they are at a higher risk for other health problems such as some cancers.  He makes a good case for environmental toxins that are invading our lives with some suggestions on how to avoid some of them.  

I read Boys Adrift a few years ago.  Loved it.  Looooved it.  At the time I didn't have a son but felt it would be an overall good parenting book.  I was right.  I found wisdom in his writing and the points he made resonated with me.  I decided I would read his next book, Girls on the Edge.  Afterall, I have daughters and liked what I had read about boys.  It took me until NOW to sit down and read the book.  And, again, I loved it.

The concept is this: Boys are girls are different.  They are facing so much more than we did because our world is changing.  Girls on the Edge addresses the problems facing girls...because, it is different.  What is the same between the boys and girls --

* They face different challenges than the ones I did (and my gneration)
* They are becoming depressed at alarming rates
* There seems to be a missing piece -- self-worth
* Somehow, we (our society) is failing our young people

But what is different is how boys and girls internalize these problems and then how they are acted out.  We seem to think that "fixing" something, or someone, is a one-size-fits-all approach.  Therapy.  Reasoning.  Et cetera.  In some ways, I wonder if all these theories that exist to "help" our wandering children are clouding our own vision as parents, grandparents, and adults who interact with children and young men and women.  When Samantha was born, I read a few parenting books.  It was so distracting.  I tried to follow the book and do what research recommended.  It was miserable.  I listened to the theories and advice of professionals, and in doing so, I didn't listen to the inner voice -- my own intuition and the Spirit -- that could tell me exactly what MY child needed.  Are we neglecting the individual child, different gender specific strengths and traits, and not listening to the inspiration we need?  Because if we do slow ourselves down, a lot of what he's talking about seems to be common sense to me.  I think as parents we get too rushed and we rush our children.  Someone else is doing this, and their kids are great kids...it must be good.  Let's do that too.  Oh, off to this next practice, dance recital, and special tutor.  You're not getting an A?  Let's "fix" that and get you to be head of the class.  How damaging is this?

So, even though Girls on the Edge IS another parenting book and DOES offer theories and ideas of what we can do as parents to help our young daughter grow to be self-confident, happy young ladies -- this also resonated with me because I feel he is perfectly aligned with my own spirit.  Does that even make sense?  What he writes and has researched, along with his own experiences with patients, seems to be more of a reminder that our daughters are important, need to be treasured, and that our job is to help them discover themselves.  It's more than that, but I really liked it.  And I haven't met a person, yet, who doesn't also really like his books.

Now.  Maybe I haven't found someone yet who hasn't liked his books because my friends seem to be like-minded.  One bit of controversy could be that he does believe that girls are inherently different than boys and should be treated differently.  He never says they should be given less, talked down to, set in their place, or dominated.  No.  They need to be approached differently, talked to differently, taught differently, guided differently.  I can see how some "feminists" would say this is unequal or wrong.  But since when has different been unfair or unequal.  My daughter, Samantha, has a severe disability.  I feed her.  My daughter, Callie, does not.  She feeds herself.  Is that unfair to Callie that I don't feed her myself?  My son, Micah, also does not have a disability.  He feeds himself.  I don't think that's unfair either.  It's common sense.  And to me, gender issues like this are common sense.  It allows both our sons and daughters to thrive when we allow them to blossom into the young men and women they are meant to be.  When we understand that they are different, and that is a good and beautiful thing that makes our home, communities, and world buzz as it should.

Anyway.  Off my soapbox...I could go on and on.  Last comment: I'm so grateful to be a woman.  I embrace it.  I don't want to be a man.  I don't want to think like him or be him.  I want to become the best I am meant to be, and that includes loving the fact that I've been extremely blessed to be a woman.  Because I am a woman there are some things that I will not have or do with which men are blessed.  But, because I am a woman there are some things that men will not experience or have.  It's not a bad thing.  It's a beautiful thing.  I learn so much from my husband and honor who he is as a man and loving husband and father.  Likewise, he honors my womanhood and finds joy in the things that I find joy in.  I have never felt like being a woman has inhibited my growth.  I know that there are ways that I'm not even aware of that BECAUSE I'm a woman, I've excelled...better than if I were a man.  As a girl my mother instilled in me that anything I wanted was possible.  I still believe that.  I also believe in the proper time to do all things.  And so, there may be things I want to do, become, experience...and I will wait until the proper time.  Is it because I'm a stay-at-home mom....because I'm a woman with that responsibility?  Absolutely it is!  Have a struggled with putting aside some of those desires until the time is right?  Yes!  Am I grateful that I AM a stay-at-home mom and have to put some of those bigger desires down for a season until the time is right.  100%.  And I will teach both my sons and daughters that they too are here to fulfill their own divine mission of becoming who their Father in Heaven has planned for them to be...and being male and female comes with different challenges that will help them reach that potential.

I'm off the box.

Special Needs Trusts: Protect Your Child's Financial Future

Oh brother!  If you thought taking care of a special needs child was difficult...emotionally and physically...let us not forget the confusing road of special needs finances!  Seriously.  I thought we were ahead of the game creating a Special Needs Trust for Sammy, but something came up that caused me to do more research to make sure I fully understood what we had done.  I may be more confused than ever.  I mean, things are fine, but the words "simple," "easy," "no problem" don't go with Special Needs Trust.  

This is a great book that I read on my kindle but will buy to have in our bookshelf so I can grab it as a quick reference.  Great book to read for all those who have children with special needs and may be interested in helping them financially while still allowing them to be eligible for insurance benefits and SSI.

However Long and Hard the Road by Jeffrey R. Holland

A couple weeks ago I had dinner with a friend.  I hadn't seen this friend in a long time.  Though I knew she was facing challenges with her children, I had no idea how deep the pain went.  I listened to the concerns, struggles, and sadness.  I didn't know what to say.  I felt that I had nothing to offer her.  I couldn't help in any way, and I left that night feeling sad.  So sad.

When I got home, I couldn't fall asleep.  I got up and tried to find a talk by Elder Holland.  There was a time when I was struggling with something and a friend gave me a copy of this talk.  I read it.  I reread it.  I read it again.  Those words filled my heart and mind with peace that I was unable to find previous to reading this.  And I thought that, perhaps, these words may help my friend as well.

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But that night, I didn't get to this talk.  Instead, I bought this book -- However Long & Hard the Road -- and began reading, immediately.  Reading these words also brought peace to my heart and mind.  I felt my burdens become light.  I recognized the power and truth in what I read.  There are too many quotes that I marked...but here are a few that buoyed up my spirit and reminded me to push forward:

"IN the Church we ask for faith, not infallibility."

"In the gospel of Jesus Christ we have help from both sides of the veil.  When disappointment and discouragement strike -- and they will -- we need to remember that if our eyes could be opened, we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see, riding at great speed to come to our protection.  They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed.  We have been given this promise from heaven."

"The past is to be learned from, not lived in, and the future is to be planned for, not paralyzed by."

"Light, like truth, forsakes the evil one, that prince of darkness who was cast out of heaven into the earth."

"We should cherish our spiritual burdens, because God will converse with us through them and will use us to do his work if..."


How grateful I am to be living in a time when there are living prophets who lead me and my family through word and example.  I feel lighter and happier when I fill my day with light -- and this week, part of that light came from the words of Jeffrey R. Holland.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Suffice it to say that I loved this book.  The only Jane Austen I have read is Pride and Prejudice, a novel with its well-deserved accolades.  I decided it was time to read more of her work...not just watch the movies.  There was no real literary reason why I chose Persuasion over any of her other works.  It just happened that way.  And each evening was a delight.

It's easy to find a summary online about this book.  It's a love story, a wonderful love story...as described by others, the classic Cinderella story.  Anne Elliot is past her prime at the ripe old age of 28.  And it seems that she is so often overlooked...loved by her family, of course.  But overlooked nonetheless.  She is old.  She is past the age to be married, have a family.  I love the writing of this time, but am grateful I don't live in it!

The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin

I remember my friend, Julia, reading The Westing Game and loving it.  I tried.  I really did.  But I quickly lost interest.  I think, quite honestly, my young mind couldn't follow the story.  It changes perspectives frequently and I just couldn't keep up.  Now, nearly 25 years later, as I was looking for a new book to read and came across The Westing Game, I figured I'd give it a try.  I'm so glad I did.  Because, it was altogether awesome.

The plot: Man dies (Westing).  Leaves a ton of money for people....who are all somehow connected to him.  He accuses 1 of them of being the killer.  They have to figure out who did it in order to win the money.

Reaction: I loved it.  I really did.  It's fun and I was surprised.  I liked piecing it all together, and then being wrong, and putting it all together again.  It's a young adult Clue.  Does it get better than that?!  I really enjoyed the individual characters.  It was a good mix of personalities and backgrounds...psychologically messed up, physically disabled, submissive, and overbearing.  You have a little of everything and it blends so well together...with a GREAT ending.  I loved how it concludes.

I suggest it 100%.

Devoted: The Story of a Father's Love for His Son by Dick Hoyt

If you seriously struggle with feelings of inadequacy, I recommend NOT reading this book.  There were times while reading this book when I really thought I needed to step up my parenting game, especially when it comes to Samantha.  But overall, I was just truly, incredibly inspired.

Devoted.  The perfect title for this book.  Since the beginning, Dick has been just that...devoted...to his son.  Rick Hoyt was born with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy.  Back then, children with disabilities were hidden, put into homes and institutions.  Parents were encouraged to do so.  But Judy and Dick Hoyt were not going to do that for their son.  No.  They were devoted to raising him just as they would any child.  They fought for Rick.  They helped him achieve all he wanted.  They helped others realize that disabilities are necessarily limiting...that we can all have the chance to accomplish the same thing...just differently perhaps.  Their motto:  Yes You Can.  For Rick, this meant, yes he can graduate from high school.  Yes he can graduate from college with a degree.  Yes he can run in races.  Yes he can conquer Ironmans!  Yes he can be an athlete...and anything else he darn well pleases.

I couldn't help but think of Samantha as I read.  What does she want to do that I can help her with?  What are her desires?  What does she feel like her body holds her back from?  If she had all the freedom in the world, what would she do...and how can I help her experience that now?  I don't know these answers, and I may never know them in this lifetime (believe me, I have a list of conversations for us to have one day!).  And that's ok.  What I do hope she knows is that I love her and am devoted to her...that I want everything for her because there's no one on this Earth that loves her more (ok...her dad may love her equally...but not MORE than me).

I also really want Sammy to understand what a blessing she is to me.  I tell her this often.  But, I want her to really understand it.  It's so easy to see how Dick is a blessing for his son...how he is able to use all his abilities to help his son experience, first hand, competition.  It brings so much joy to Rick.  And he wouldn't have that without his father.  That's a beautiful gift.  It's the obvious blessing that we read about.  But then, if one steps back, hopefully we see that Rick has been an amazing gift to his father.  It's because of him that his father's life has changed for the better...that he's healthier, stronger, has an amazing relationship with his son, and has had the opportunity to reach out and help so many other families.  In the book, Dick tries to explain his gratitude for his son...but, honestly, the words don't truly convey what I think he tries to express.  And I think I know that because I often find my words falling short when I try to express how much gratitude I have for Sammy.  It's just a beautiful story.

Read the book.  It's inspiring the obstacles they hurdled over.  But, if you think you won't read the book, watch the video below.  It's pretty incredible what a little love and devotion has the power to do.

The Misremembered Man by Christina McKenna

Wow.  I completely loved this book.  The setting is beautiful, rural Ireland.  As I read, I imagined my grandpa going about his day in his native country.  I immediately felt an at-home feeling as I read.  And as I read Jamie McCloone's words, I heard my grandpa's thick, rich accent.  So, on a personal level, I loved it.

As a literary worked, I loved it just as much.  It was charming and delightful.  There were tragic parts, parts that were difficult for me to even read.  Jamie is a man who has lived much of his life alone.  He grew up in a Catholic orphanage where he was abused physically and emotionally by the nuns and priests in charge.  He and the other children "inmates" were beaten, starved, and forced to work as slave labor in the potato fields.  Some of these chapters were difficult to read.  But these flashback chapters are surrounded by chapters of Jaime as a grown man...who has tried, the best he can, to rebuild his life.  And looking for companionship...love.  True, meaningful love to fill a void in his heart.

Lydia Divine, in her 40s, is tethered to her mother...responding to every demand.  She, too, looks for some deeper love and purpose in her life, yet is isolated from the "outside" world because she is constantly taking care of her mother.  Lydia IS divine.  She's attractive, kind, and proper.

The Misremembered Man was so well-written, moving so smoothly from these 3 different story lines ... Jamie in the orphanage, adult Jamie, Lydia.  How they mesh together is so well done.  And I truly fell in love with Jamie.  Oh how I wanted the best for him.  I really liked Lydia, but I loved Jamie...the deep love you have for the underdog, because that is what he had always been his entire life.  These stories, how they come together, was in every way the best.  Sad?  Yes, in parts.

But it ended exactly as it should.  I'm really not one for "romance" novels.  I pick my love stories wisely, I think.  However, I shut my kindle after the last word with such satisfaction.  One of the best unexpected love stories I've ever read.  I really loved it!

Five Stars.

It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

 

It's Kind of a Funny Story.  This was not on my "to read" list, but I stumbled across it and just went for it.  The past 2 books that I've read, I knew nothing about going in (I'm such a thrill seeker).  I read it on my kindle, so I had no idea how much I would love the cover art on this book...and check out the spine!

I love the spine on this book.  It's the little things.  I have a friend who is obsessed with the inside cover art.  You know a quality book if when you open it up, you fall in love with the inside cover.  Right?  Right.  This is what you miss out on when you read on your Kindle.  Anyway... 

Written about a 15 year old boy who suffers from depression and considers suicide, much of the book is about him spending 5 days in a psychiatric hospital.  The story is set up with him hanging out with friends...getting a sense of the pressure he feels.  But it's in the hospital when his anxieties are peeled away and you find out who is really is...how when there is no pressure and anxiety, he's kind, generous, loving, artistic, and in many ways just a regular teenage boy.  He finds new friendships, realizes the value (or lack of value) in old "friendships," and learns how to move forward.  

There were times in the book that were too sexual for me and I'd skim over or skip.  So, there's that warning about the book.  I don't like too much sexual content when I read anyway, and it bothered me to read it about a 15 year old.  That bothered me.  But, I found it was easy to skip over it.

The book was interesting, and aside from the stuff I mentioned above, I really ended up liking it a lot.  I was interested in Craig.  I wanted to know more about his fellow patients.  I wanted to know what was going to happen.  I was rooting from Craig that whole time.  Interesting, yes.  First of all, I've never read a book like this...tackling the topic of depression...without feeling depressing itself.  When I was younger, I went through a period of time reading depressing books, but no books about living with depression.  Secondly, I have a husband who, from time to time, has to decide if someone should be hospitalized because of mental illness.  And lastly, well, I like a story with good character development...change...happy endings.  And this gave me that.

Sadly, though, the author, Ned Vizzini does not have that happy ending that he created for Craig.  This book is based on his own 5 day stay in a psychiatric hospital.  So much of this is truly based on his own experiences, his own thoughts and feelings even.  And though he had his ups and downs in life, he couldn't quite manage his own depression and committed suicide on December 19, 2013 when he was 32 years old.  Only a short few months ago.  I can only imagine that his wife and son continue to mourn his absence, and always will.

It makes me so sad.  It's just another example of how mental illness is that...an illness.  Something that someone battles with daily...and in a moment...the agony is too much.  They are too tired to do it anymore.  It's so sad to me.  And though It's Kind of a Funny Story is just a book...it's more.  Because it represents an entire group of people who need us ~ a friend who cares, parents who listen, professionals who help...

Ned Vizzini leaves a legacy of novels and work that have touched many people's hearts...many who can intimately relate with what he has shared.  While he was living, he spent a lot of time with teenagers creating writing workshops and helping them use writing as a means of medicine for mental health.  He is an example to us all in that he was able to use his own painful experience to help others...

 1981 - 2013

 

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

I finished reading The Four Agreements about a week ago now.  It was a really great book when I finished reading it.  But since then, the book has become a powerful one.  It's one of those books that the longer I sit on it and think, the better it becomes.

Years ago when I was teaching English, the Senior Honors class read it.  It's been on my list of to-read books since then.  For whatever reason, I finally got around to reading it...and I was surprised.  To begin with, I had no idea what it was about.  I just picked it up and began to read.  Immediately, I was hooked.  Partly because it seems that over the past year or so, I've been on my own little spiritual journey, I guess you could call it.  There are aspects of my life that I'm really trying to improve.  Habits, attitudes, thoughts.  There's so much of me that needs to change and I have been trying to take a different approach to changing it all.  Prayerfully, yes.  Spiritually, definitely.  And so as I read, I felt like what he said really resonated with me right now.

The concept is that we make agreements, agreements, I suppose, with the universe.  We feel a certain way because we agree with the comment.  We call a table a table, because someone told us it was a table when we were young, and we agreed to it.  That idea, right there, gave me a sense of control.  I don't have to agree with everything.  I can challenge certain thoughts that run through my mind.  I've always known this, but you know how sometimes, you hear the same thing over and over again...but then you hear the same concept in a different way and it just clicks?  I think that's what this book did for me.

My friend posted her review of this book stating that it was a waste of time (pretty much).  That it's the same stuff that you find in other new-age self-help books.  She was absolutely right.  When I read that, I stepped back and thought, "Um, she's right.  Why did I like this book so much?"  I think for me, it was all about the timing.  It was the right time for me to read this.  In fact, it was a spiritual read for me, when I felt prompted many times by the Spirit as to specific changes I needed to make.  It was all timing.

It's a great book.  Usually with great books, I'd recommend it to everyone.  This, I wouldn't.  For some, reading the summary somewhere is good enough.  The writing itself felt repetitious and that annoyed me at times.  And, for people like my husband, I think it could feel a little too new-age...too much off in space.  Though the concepts are great and we can all benefit from the agreements, just read to find out what they are.  Maybe don't read the book if you're not totally interested.

So, here you have it.  And see what I mean?  It's not all that deep.  But for me, it was deeper than this.  So, whatever.  Read this little image and you won't have to read the book.  Make yourself a better person. :)