Thursday, April 29, 2010

Potty Woes

Well, Callie was potty trained. I have no question about that. She would go to the bathroom herself -- we'd be outside and then she'd disappear, only reappearing to let us know that she went potty by herself. And she had. She had been going diaperless on errands, to church, everywhere we went. And there was never a problem.

But then, one day, something went terribly wrong...and we're not sure what that was....but she has never been the same. She is completely terrified of the potty. She panics and refuses to go. The look of fear is beyond what I have ever seen on her face before. We've had accident after accident after accident.

This has been frustrating for many reasons. One -- we know she can do it. She's been going to the potty all by herself for awhile now, and at her own free will. Two -- taking steps backwards is just a frustrating thing. You think, "Why? What could possibly make this happen? And all this work for nothing?" (And then, of course, this makes me think of my friend Maren who experiences this nearly everyday with her daughter.) And, it was just so nice to have my 2 year old potty trained. Less diapers, less money...she's more independent. I was very comfortable with the situation, and now, we've reverted back to 6+ months ago.

We've debated back and forth about what to do...just be consistent and push through? But when we did that, she was holding it in for so long and the way she was acting -- I was afraid she was going to start getting bladder infections. Go back to diapers? I've heard so many people say they regret ever doing that.

But alas, we have put her back into diapers for the time being. We can't bring ourselves to push her through something that is so traumatic, and I'm afraid we're causing more damage this way. She is terrified. We considered that this may be a control issue...but after only a couple days, we're pretty certain she has some serious fears. Now it's just trying to figure out what caused it.

Anyone else been through this?


AJ said...

Stella was potty trained pretty early and then regressed. Her's was probably due to the fact that she had a new baby brother taking over her life. I don't think she had any fear involved. It was really hard to get her back to normal and it took a while and a lot of encouragement.
Does Callie explain at all what she is afraid of? It sounds like you are going to have to figure that out before it will be pleasant again. Good luck and don't worry.

Bryant and April said...

I haven't been down the potty training road quite yet, but if Callie is scared of something, I think it would be more tramatic for her to be forced to do/use something that is scary. Does she go on the big potty or does she have her own little potty? If not, maybe it would be worth spending $15 or so on a fun potty chair just for her. Good luck. I'll be coming to you for advice in a few months when we start on Gracie!

Jenny said...

Yeah....she had been using the big potty just fine. But then this all happened, and I thought...ok, let's trying switching. We went to Target and she chose a new potty...and insisted on one similar to what she currently -- or used to -- use (a seat that fits on the big potty). That's what she really wanted, so I got it. No go. When we got home she didn't want to use it. We're just giving it a break. It makes me so sad though for her that there's something that is bothering her so much and I don't know what it is. We'll just give it time. I mean, she is still so young, so I'm sure it'll be fine, but still.

Heidi Ashworth said...

When we started potty training Michael at the age one would do with an average child, he was having, unbeknownst to us, major balance problems b/c of his CP and also b/c of the constant fluid in his ears from all the ear infections. We didn't even use a little potty--we were putting him up there on the big throne. Of course it terrified him but we didn't figure it out until much longer. (he didn't full potty train until almost 5 but that's another story). Whatever scared Callie could be something that we would think is really minor or maybe not even consider. Poor little mite. I think you're doing the right thing--making her feel safe and that she can trust you--that will pay off in big and small ways for the rest of your lives.

Rob and Marseille said...

wait, aren't we always coming to your husband for advice like this? ;) Don't stress, she'll get back into in a few months. Have her play with friends that are potty trained.

Laura said...

Maia is scared of the potty too, but has not been potty-trained yet (for that very reason). I think it is because we watched "monsters, inc" and they flush toys down the toilet in there so she thinks that she might go down too?
I agree with your friend AJ - probably figure out what made her scared and try to talk with her about it. It's so hard; good luck with sweet Callie!

Ashley DeMille said...

good luck! i wish I could tell you something, but I really can't. I am relearning again how to potty train with madi. I thought I knew how to do it but Im afraid not. I think I must have had more motivation and patients with Jaxon. Every kid is so different.


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