What I Think About Most

Larissa shared this on her blog, and I love it! Wordle creates word collages. You can make one yourself, or I did what she did...I put my blog address in and based on all the words on my blog, it created this beauty. The words that are largest are what I use the most.




Once the website created this word collage, I was really happy to see Callie and Sammy's names in large print (though I felt bad that "Marcus" wasn't written hugely across the page)...and family, love, and child standing out a little more prominently than other words like, oh, say "Beyonce" and "forget." Being a mom is really what consumes my life -- and consumes it in a really great, happy way. I think about my punkin and munchkin all day long. I even dream about them. A mom just doesn't get a break.:) I love my family and feel so blessed to have them.

Soul in Her Blood

There's just something about Beyonce that Callie loves. Other songs are somewhat entertaining, but she really puts her moves on showcase when "All The Single Ladies" comes on. She must have been born with soul because we didn't teach her these moves. (That's Sammy yelling in the background.)

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I loved this book! Written through a series of letters, you get fresh insight on all the characters. Particularly enjoyable is the fact that it takes place during WWII, a tragic time in our world's history, but it isn't overwhelmingly depressing and sad. Of course sad things happen, but it is mixed with laughter, love, and true friendship. I also enjoyed that books and literature were what helped this group of friends make it through such a hard time. Loved the book. Recommend it to all. Everyone in our book club loved it too (which is a relief since I picked it and led the discussion.)

With the Greens

Here is Memorial Day weekend in no particular order....

Under Grammy's supervision, Callie climbs up the ladder.

Callie cuddling up to Uncle Bryan.

Wait a minute, there are two steering wheels. Who's really driving this machine?



I've seen other babies in this super cute Target suit. Sooo cute.


Sammy with Aunt Lisi.


For some reason, I just love pictures like this -- kids walking while holding a hand. In particular, with Sammy, I love it because we have worked so hard in physical therapy to get her to this point where she will actually walk holding a hand. The only real beautiful shots of Manito Park that we got were of the girls with family. Those are the real picture keepers anyway. Who needs to see beautiful gardens when you've got these girlies?

Callie playing with Daddy and Grandpa

Sammy, Colin, and Analisa with this other family in the Japanese Garden at Manito.

Sammy and Bryan, I'm sure, just before she scratched his ear and forehead and pulled out a chunk of hair. Just look at that face. She was thinking up something devious.

The new trick that Sammy couldn't get enough of.

One....Two....

THREEEEEEE
There was plenty of giggling each time...though I'm not sure who laughed more, Sammy or all of us.

Thanks for visiting! We miss you all.

My Sweet Daughter

Callie at 9 months old. Our sealing day.

Shortly after we got Callie and brought her back to Utah, Heather, a friend of mine, emailed me this poem. Today I searched through my email box, found it, and read it again -- because I want Callie to have this. It brings tears to my eyes because I believe it's very true.


I am so grateful for Callie's birthmom. There are some people who feel like they could never love an adopted child because s/he isn't their own. I get that why they could feel that way. I do. But it also baffles me a little bit after experiencing it for myself. I think most of the people who feel that way would be surprised at how you quickly forget that this particular child is adopted. They just become your child. Not your adopted child. The truth is, Callie is my own. And I'm her mom. There is a part of her that is undeniably from someone else -- that someone else who gave her life and parts of her personality. Callie's birthmother had the wisdom and foresight to know that Callie needed to be with another family. For that, I thank her. And because of that, God created a way to have her be a part of our family now, and forever.


I love my daughter, Callie.

Legacy of Two Mothers

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One, my darling, is your birthmom and the other is your mother.

Two different lives, shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star; the other became your sun.

The first gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions; the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile; the other dried your tears.

One chose adoption. It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
The age-old question through the years.

Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling, neither. Just two different kinds of love

-Unknown author

Callie, me, and her birthmom

Green Beans for All!

I decided I wanted to have a garden this year. But, in our apartments, I couldn't quite swing it. Not only do I not have property to create a garden, but the way the sun hits, I can't even really have a good container garden. Enter Greg and Julie Massey. They expanded their garden this year and gave me two rows! Thanks! So, this year I decided to just do beans. We love green beans and I wanted to start off small...manageable. Though, who am I fooling? I planted them and Julie takes care of the watering. I'll pick the beans though. Don't you worry about that Julie...I'll take some responsibility for my part of the garden.

Two weeks ago, my beans were barely sprouting -- pretty much mounds of dirt.

Now, they are really pushing through. Marcus and I walked down there on Sunday. I have a more updated picture (these are Julie's, but mine are starting to look like that now too), but haven't uploaded them yet. There is something extremely satisfying to see the fruits of your labor.

Thoughts at 1 am

For real? It's that late? AH! This weekend has been a rough one for our little trooper #1, and lucky for us little trooper #2 is so sweet and can be entertained by finger puppets while we hold #1. Sammy's been having seizures again. It's been so long since we've had them, that I kind of forgot what it was like. When I say so long, I mean a couple months I guess...so not that long...but it was a nice break. I'm hoping she's having them because she's coming down with something and not because her medication is no longer effective and we need to make adjustments. Marcus was sick last week, so maybe she just picked up the bug and that's triggering them. But little Sammy Sam-Sam sure is struggling. Today she probably had about 8 or 9 siezures. We went to church for about 15 minutes before we realized it just wasn't happening today. She was so exhausted from the morning seizures and I just couldn't get her to settle down. I'm sure the entire congregation heard her cries from the farthest corner in the building. We came home, and while holding her for 3 hours so she could sleep and recover, I read a couple books and fell asleep...and now I'm up at 1am. Tomorrow's going to hurt.

While the Greens were here, I had a little conversation with Peggy. Marcus and I have no debt. This is a huge HUGE blessing. Not that we didn't prepare and really plan in order to be in this situation and be extremely frugal at times...but, that's not that hard to do. Both of us have been this way since we were little. Marcus is getting his PhD, we don't have any debt, and I was telling Peggy that in a way, compared to the other people in his program and some of our other friends, I just feel like we haven't paid our dues. We have it pretty easy. She commented that she felt we just have different trials. I agreed, because that's polite...but I wasn't quite sure if I really did agree or not. I really felt like we had it easy.

Then this weekend came. Today, I was reminded of how hard it's been with Sammy. I love her more than I could ever express. I could never imagine my life without her, and really can't remember what our lives were like before her. I thought I had a pretty awesome life, but it paled in comparison to how much joy this little girl brings. My life if fuller and awesomer with her clinging to my neck. But we have also had heartwrenching experiences with her that I really don't want to ever have to go through again. During these past few seizure-free months, I forgot how we alternated sleeping on the couch with her, how these seizures wipe her out, how uncomfortable I get seeing her face get pale and her lips turn blue/purple as she struggles to breath. I know others have it much worse, but even so, tonight, began to think...we do have our own dues that we pay.

But then, 1:15 am approaches. I know she is curled up in a ball, the same way she used to when she was only 2 months old, but I go in to check on Samantha anyway -- a compulsive quick look to make sure she isn't seizing without me there to hold her, stroke her hair, and tell her that I love her and that it'll be over soon -- I realize that all along, I was right. As I look down at her, and little flips of hair frame her face that is squished up against her pillow, I am overcome with the Lord's love for this one little girl. She is a gift. I'll take the surgeries, I'll take the seizures, I'll take the sleepless nights, I'll take it all for my little girl, because we really do have it easy after all.