We had a truly lovely Christmas. It was fun to be surrounded by family and it was exciting to open presents. I enjoyed seeing the girls get excited about new toys...it was a little magical to hear Callie talk about Santa bringing her a bike and toys. I've enjoyed all of us hanging out in the family room together and talking or playing video games or watching movies while Sammy breaks a light bulb from the lamp or Callie breaks a bowl. I mean, those are some special times. It was a great Christmas and I couldn't have asked for more (other than my parents being here too).
You all know that we have started the adoption process, and as I've mentioned, it seems like the paperwork is going through even faster than it did for Callie. I've been really nervous about this baby because it seems like the jump from 2 to 3 kids is a big one. We'll need to buy a new car. And I only have 2 hands ya know? I get nervous. But I've also had the reassurance that this is right and that makes me excited and helps put my fears aside. But even still, I get a little worried. That's only human right? Well the past 2 days have been interesting for me. I feel ready all of a sudden. Not that I'm stupid enough to think that "oh, it'll be so easy to have a 3rd child." NO, not at all. I know it will be an adjustment for our family and our lifestyle, but we are ready for that...and I really feel....ready. In fact, last night we were with the extended family, and while we were there, I really felt like I should have been holding a baby. It was odd. That has happened only once before over the past couple months, but last night it was so much stronger. I can only imagine that that is Heavenly Father's way of preparing me, to some degree anyway.
I kind of got excited about that experience...imagining what it would be like if we got a baby soon. It's a little overwhelming, but what an amazing experience that would be for our family to spend time together with our new baby before Marcus starts working. There would be nothing keeping him from being around. (Update on Marcus: He's hopefully defending his dissertation in February!!!) If we have to travel anywhere for our baby -- out of state again like we had to for Callie -- and stay there, he'll be able to do that with me this time. But, that's all under the unlikely circumstance that there's a baby in the next few months for us.
Either way, baby now or later, I feel so blessed right now. I know there is a baby out there for us, and my arms are beginning to really ache for him/her. It's an awesome feeling.