Wednesday, September 1, 2010


See this sweet angelic face? Yeah, well, this morning I wasn't feeling like she was such a little angel. As much as I love her, she was no angel.

This morning, motherhood happened. I woke up this morning at 3:45am. That's early, I'd say, even if you consider yourself an early-riser...and I don't...consider myself an early-riser/morning person. So, it was early. Sammy woke up and before she could cry long enough to wake up Callie, I ran in and got her. We cuddled on the couch and she squirmed for an hour. I was soooo tired. I got frustrated and decided that I was just going to lay her on the couch and let her cry. She didn't. She fell asleep as soon as I laid her down. humph! If that's all she wanted...was to be left alone...why the heck did she wake me up at 3:45am!?

Anyway. 15 minutes later, as I was hoping to fall asleep, I got a phone call. I didn't answer it because at 5am I assumed the call was a mistake, until I heard that the caller left a voice mail. So I listened, and was immediately wide awake. A friend of mine asked me to call her back immediately. Her voice was shaky and I was very concerned.

No need to be concerned folks. Because, motherhood was happening again: My good friend had just received a call that THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE A BABY! Yes! They had to fly out as soon as they could to Michigan to pick up their new baby boy. Wow! They were excited, overwhelmed, excited, overwhelmed...I immediately started making phone calls ~ because you know in Michigan they are 3 hours ahead ~ and arranged a place for them to stay, all the hospital information I could help them with, etc. (And then Samantha woke up for good at 6:15am...yes, I'm tired.)

I've been talking with them as they have been in Michigan a little bit, and had to restrain myself from calling them when I knew they were leaving the hospital. I can wait for her call tomorrow...I think.This has been a fun day for me. About 3 years ago I talked with my friend about adoption. We started talking one day at church, and boom...we were buds. We went on walks, talked and talked and talked. She asked me a lot of questions about Samantha, and a lot about adoption. It was something they were considering. She told me about her family, about her life...and we just became good friends. Over the past few years, we've stayed in touch. And today, we have come to the end of the adoption...or is it the beginning? A little of both.

Today I remember becoming a mother for a second time; I remember getting that phone call and telling us we had a baby waiting for us in Michigan. I remember feeling so excited, and then getting really light headed and feeling so overwhelmed. I'm so glad this friend of mine and I had connected years ago...our adoption stories are so similar, it's really interesting.A few months ago, my friend was considering if adoption was really the right path and if they should pursue in-vitro. When discussing it with her caseworker, the caseworker asked, "Is this about becoming a mother, or is this about having a biological child?" As she drove home, she knew it was about becoming a mother...and that all that peace she had felt about adoption being what was right for them was real.

Since she told me this, I've thought about it a lot. So many people have told me that they don't think they could love a baby that wasn't their own. I feign sympathy, because I get it, but I also really don't. I mean, really don't. I mean... really? I think those people who feel that way would be surprised how much love oozes from them when that baby cries for you...or when that toddler bumps their head and only wants mommy {YOU}, or jumps up and down in excitement when "DADDY" comes home {YOU}. There's a lot of love you feel. They are yours and you're theirs. And if that is the case, that you can't love a child that "isn't you're own," what is it really about...becoming a mother or father, or seeing a child that looks like you? It's interesting to think about. It's something I hadn't thought about that way before. I do, certainly, understand the desire to be pregnant and to go through that process. It is a miracle to bring life to this world, and I really do understand the desire to become parents from that side. 100%. But luckily, for those who are unable...or those who just have a different path laid out for them...I'm sure glad that adoption is an option. It's a darn good one.
I am so grateful to be a mom...and I feel blessed to have experienced becoming a mother in 2 very different ways. But, even if my 2 little girls came to me differently, I feel the same binding love that attach us to each other towards both of them. Motherhood is amazing and incredible, full of lay-your-life-down-for-your-kid kind of love no matter where your baby bundle comes from. I'm pretty sure it's just a part of being a mom.


The Nelsons said...

Jenny, I love this post. It's so heartfelt and I love your thoughts on motherhood via adoption or biological means. Love you lots.

Becky said...

Beautiful post Jenny! Love it!

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

This is a beautiful post Jenny. :) How exciting for your friend, to be getting her baby!! That is awesome.

Heidi said...

Yay for your friends! Glad it was a good middle of the night call and not a bad one. And that Callie--she just oozes personality! She has so much presence!

Katie said...

I am Amelia's sister, and occasionally I check your blog to see how your life and family are. (We met multiple times, but I am not sure if you remember me.) That is such a BEAUTIFUL post, and I thank you for sharing your feelings. You made me teary... :)

Nola said...

I love your post! I totally agree with your feelings about adoption. My family has had 2 generations of adoption and we would never think of them as anything, but our family.
If it is ok, I am going to share this with two friends that are trying to adopt also!

maryirene said...

beautifully written.

Rob and Marseille said...

I'm with Mary Irene. Beautifully written!


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