Excuse You...

Yes, I had to put Callie in time out yesterday for burping. Now, normally, a burp is a burp. Ok, no problem. Say "excuse me" and you're good...for the most part. But recently Callie has discovered how to make herself burp, and she loves it. She thinks it's funny. Ok, maybe we laughed the first time. Maybe I even laughed the second time. But this has been going on for weeks. She's starting to do it without even realizing it. What if her nervous twitch becomes burping?! How unbecoming of a young lady....

So yesterday, after ALL DAY of self-induced burps, I told her if she did it one more time, she was going to time out. Enough was enough. Only a few moments later, she sucked in some air and out came a little burp. "Callie!" She jumped. I really believe she didn't realize what she had done. "Callie, what just happened?" "I burped." "Ok, time out." She didn't fight it at all...just quietly walked to time out. (sigh)

We haven't had any incidents today, but really. Come on girl. I got to put my foot down on this one. If you aren't drinking loads of rootbeer at a sleepover, or trying to burp the alphabet, we got to draw the line.

Chevy's Success

For those who have not heard, our Chevy's fundrasier for Samantha this past Thursday was an incredible success.  I was so overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and support for our little girl.  Many who could not attend sent checks or cash as a way to show their support.  Some ate at Chevy's for lunch and dinner!  You guys are incredible.  We have amazing friends.  But, also, for those who didn't even know us but came anyway...wow.  And thank you!

I had told Chevy's that I thought there would be a lot of people.  I'm not sure they believed me.  They were understaffed for lunch, so our friends politely waited.  Take-outs were abundant!  And dinner.  Woa, let's just talk about dinner.  I couldn't believe how many people were there.  Thank you thank you thank you!!!  We didn't eat dinner that night, just showed up and talked with people.  As I said earlier, it was an overwhelming experience to be surrounded by those we know and love, and to meet new people who wanted to know more about Samantha and this cause they were helping.  Fantastic and humbling.

This was a difficult fundraiser for me.  Back in high school, I led a lot of fundraisers, but never one for my own family.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  During a time when I've felt frustrated and discouraged about different things, I have felt the love of the Lord through the hundreds of people who have been rallying around Samantha and our family.  It's a feeling I've only felt once before this stronly -- the morning we sat in the "family waiting room" while Samantha had her head surgery.  At that time, when I was struck with panic and fear, I felt myself be lifted up in a way that felt as if I was physically being lifted in my seat.  I attribute that experience almost 5 years ago to the prayers of our friends and family -- many of who were at Chevy's last Thursday.

There is no way I can thank everyone personally who attended or ordered food that day.  So, in a small attempt to express our thanks, I had thank you notes on all the tables with a family picture.  At the front desk, there was another thank you note...unfortunately at dinner the manager didn't pass them out like they did at lunch (at lunch, the waiters put slid the notes in with the checks).  I don't have a copy of those notes anymore...I wish I did so I could put it in Samantha's scrapbook -- but for those who attended, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. 

And, for those who are curious.  That day, we brought in almost $4,000 worth of business to Chevy's.  That means, Samantha will receive a check of $989.33 towards her therapy!  Chevy's was very happy -- they even want to do it again for us in June.  I think we'll pass, but it was flattering nonetheless.

 

I Am a Mom

I wake up at 3am when my child yells out

I curl up in bed with them and will sleep the rest of the night by her side

I clean up the icky, oozing aftermath of sneezes

I make breakfasts, lunches, and most dinners

I "try" to keep an organized environment

I play outside

I play horsey

I kiss puppies and blankies goodnight after kissing my own sweet little girl goodnight

I say morning prayers

I get frustrated trying to keep children reverent during prayers

I act out scripture stories

I sing songs about smelly feet and ears that hang low

I sing songs about smelly feet and ears that hang low...and like it

I miss relaxing and reading a book in the middle of the day

I love sitting and reading a book to my kids in the middle of the day

I don't exercise enough

I eat macaroni and cheese and hotdogs

I compare myself to cheese, and hope with age comes delectable goodness because...

I've aged quite a bit in the last 5 years! (yikes)

I don't sleep enough

I braid hair

I dress my kids

I redress my kids several times a day

I change diapers

I administer medicine

I fast and pray

I study

I spend too much money on what I consider silly things

I write little notes and put them in mailboxes for my kids

I decorate

(hopefully) I educate

I cry more than I ever have before motherhood

I stress out

I cheer on my kids in their individual activities

I pretend to eat my kids brains so they laugh

I tickle

I crawl

I chase

I run

I push doll strollers on walks with my daughter

I take pictures

I carry rocks in my pockets and large "cooool" leaves in my hands

I jump out of dark rooms and laugh hysterically with them as they scream!

I find joy in the little things -- but also don't know how to let some of the little things go

I worry about the future and try to prepare them the best I can.

I paint nails, wash bodies, go to doctor appointments, drive to school, and plan play dates.

I cry watching commercials, youtube videos, and news reports thinking of my girls

I never knew how much I could love

I am a mom -- and I'm happier than I could have imagined.

The list could go on, and on...

I want to start the journey again, and I'll happily wait until I can.

Until then, I'm still Samantha and Callie's mom forever, and that makes me pretty excited.

Why I Like Busy

I'm a busy person.  I always have been.  It's the way I roll.

It has caused some problems in my life -- stress, weight gain, zits.  Whatever.  But that happens when I over-do it.  I haven't learned my lesson about overdoing it quite yet, but I think I'm learning.  My problem is, I love being busy.  I love feeling productive.  I love being a part of something that I feel passionately about.  And, I feel passionately about a lot of things. 

Passion #1:  Callie

I mean, seriously.  Check this babe out.  Look at that smile and that beautiful glowing skin.  Callie is my bud.  We get into little "disagreements" at times, but we're pretty close.  She brings me a lot of true joy during the day.  Even on the rough days, we laugh together and she continually reminds me that she loves me.  How can you not be passionate about a lady like this?  Callie, I love you to the moon and back and you're my gal.  In this category, I'd like to add adoption.  I'm pretty passionate about that subject as well.  It has changed my life forever and I look forward to the other children that Heavenly Father has waiting for us via adoption.  I look forward to our lives being touched by another birthmom.  I'm looking forward to our future with adoption.  So, yeah, I feel strongly about Callie and how she came to us. 

Passion #2:  Samantha

Hello!  Look at those little water shoes.  This little bug is one tough cookie and there aren't really words to explain all that she has taught me.  I've grown in innumerable ways because of Samantha and her life story.  She's a gem.  Samantha and Callie are a perfect match together.  They were meant for each other, and we were all meant for Sammy.  Lately, we've been doing a lot of fundraising and my heart has been overflowing with gratitude and love.  I had an idea, but I didn't realize how many people really loved our little girl.  I'm passionate about doing whatever I need to in order to help her achieve her potential here on this earth.  I'm passionate about her therapy, education, and all things Samantha.

Passion #3:  Marcus

Ok, Marcus isn't a geek, he's a nerd.  But, this works too.  I love Marcus.  He's my hunk 'a burnin' love.  He makes me laugh with his corny jokes (most of the time) and he's just the guy I want to be around.  I'm passionate about Marcus because he's my number one.  I know I should be better at letting him know that, but I can't imagine my life without him.  He's an incredible dad and, if it's possible, and even better husband. 

We've had a lot going on lately. 

Tonight we had a fundraiser for Samantha's therapy (which, I think, went amazingly well!). 

We have a 5K planned for May.

We are waiting for a/our baby.

I'm writing a book and plan to submit it, hopefully, in May/June.

I've volunteered myself to advocate for Independence Network (a special needs program for adults that needs to remain in the county)

I'm one of the Assistant Directors for Girls' Camp this year (more on this later)

I'm in the YW Presidency

And then there's the usual everyday stuff. 

I'm busy.  We're busy.  But busy does something to me that I like.  Yes, I talked about the feeling of accomplishment and self-esteem boost that I get...but there is frustration in every single area of my life if I allow it.  Let's take adoption, for instance.  We want a baby.  It's the truth.  And I'm starting to get all weird about babies -- wanting to hold them all the time, stroking their cute little hair on their cute little heads...I'm going all weirdo.  I imagine teaching Callie how to properly hold a baby.  I imagine Samantha getting a little smile every time a new baby lets out a cry.  That Samantha -- so compassionate.  I imagine Marcus being a proud new daddy again.  But, when I'm busy, I don't complain as much to myself, because, who has time?  I still have my moments, and last week was particularly hard for me...but in general, when I'm busy and immerse myself in working on my projects or committees, or whatever, I tend to find more joy in my life. 

That's why I like busy.  That's why I do all the stuff that I do.  It helps me feel joy because I don't dwell on the many frustrations that come with feeling so passionately about certain things in my life.  Now, learning how to balance my busy, that's another story....

Catchy Phrase

Well...after some discussion and some pretty awesome suggestions...I think Marcus and I came up with a little phrase that we like for the 5K (if this really happens.  there were a few kinks with the city, but we are working them out -- hopefully.  i'll keep you posted)

We wanted something fun (not too dramatic) that had a little ring to it.  We tried to do some alliteration...played around with a few things...laughed...and we came up with:

Sweatin' for Sammy

So, whether people will be running or walking...it's all because they love little Sammy.  Even if they don't know her but only come because a friend roped them in...that friend is coming and still sweatin' for Sammy.  Right?  Anyway.  We're excited to get going.  I hope this all works out. 

Last night thinking about it, I got a little emotional thinking about all of us there, for Samantha.  I was telling Marcus some of the updates from our friend who is organizing it, telling him it didn't look so good.  He said, "Jenny, can you imagine it though?  I mean, everyone would be there for her...cheering her on...wearing shirts for her...it's something we would NEVER forget."  It would be pretty amazing.  Lately, we've read some information about Samantha's diagnosis and her profile match up with some things related to early death.  It's been hard for us.  We've had to rely on our faith (and doctor's opinion -- who can't ever be 100% anyway) to find peace about everything.  And, let me clarify here: We're not expecting her to die tomorrow or even next year.  She very well would be a young adult if she matches up with these cases.  So, last night I was thinking about that -- and if we were able to do this run, how cool of a memory would that be one day?  I don't know.  I said we didn't want our little logo to be dramatic, and listen to me now.  Anyway...

We'll keep you all posted on if/when this thing goes down. 

what would you do?

Say someone wanted to do a 5K for your child, to raise money for a therapy, and you were responsible to come up with a logo of sorts for the t-shirts.  (sigh)  Say you were also someone who wasn't all that creative, so the pressure of this somewhat sent you into a whirlwind of confusion.  (SIGH)  I'm so excited about the prospect of this, but I really don't know where to begin. 

Where would you start? 
What images do you think of when you think of Samantha?
What's a phrase that's catchy and ... good?

Any input, at this point, is much appreciated and very beneficial.  Now I Can already uses "Running to Walk" for their annual 5K...which I love.  But...hmmm.  Ideas I have thus far:

"Team Sammy"
"Team Samantha"
"Team Sammer Jammer"
"One Little Girl Leaving a Big Footprint on the World"
"Running for the Samsquatch"
"Run for the Jammer"
"Little Head, Big Heart"  (um, ok, maybe not)  But we could say...
"Little Legs, Big Heart"  (I don't like that much either)

or...how about...

Running for a Miracle, Running for Sammy

oh.  i need help.

(Sigh)

I'm not even sure where to begin. I've had a million thoughts lately, but no time to sit and write them out. Things are going well, though I went through a funk last week. It could have been all the stress on top of -- what? I don't know. But, things are looking up and I'm still happy about life. I was grateful for General Conference this year. This sounds so pathetic, but I was actually awake the entire time and caught every single talk. Well, I think so anyway. I may have missed one while I was laying Callie down for her nap -- yeah, Elder Oaks. I'm grateful for family. I like them. And, I'm grateful just for so much right now. I'm grateful for the many who have extended themselves for us lately, on behalf of Samantha and raising money for her therapy. I'm so excited about this therapy and really believe in it. So, here's one more....