Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Today's Thoughts

Today I'm sick. I've been getting sick for about a week, and it finally hit hard today. I didn't sleep all last night, my head is aching, my nose is running, and I'm just feeling sick. Both Samantha and Callie have been great today, so I've allowed a bit of sloth to enter my life -- just for today. During this time of waste, I've had some thoughts.

#1 I love the
Cosby Show. You know, there is so much on tv that corrupts our minds and wastes our time. But Cosby? I love love love this show. I told Marcus that one day I would like to have the seasons of the Cosby Show on dvd. There's not a season I don't like, and it's just pure, clean, funny stuff. I don't know one person who doesn't like this show and there is a reason for it. Plain and simple, Bill Cosby's comedy makes me happy.

#2 I am so blessed. Despite the Lord's knowledge of all my faults, He continues to copiously bless me. I've been mostly thinking about my family when it comes to blessings today, though there are other areas in my life where I've been blessed. Out of my list of things I want to do and accomplish, being a wife and mom were the most important things to me. In Young Women I had written down my list of what I wanted in a husband. Well, not only am a wife now, but Marcus has far FAR exceeded my expectations that I had written down many years ago. I'm a pretty independent person (this can be good and bad) but I really can't imagine not having Marcus by my side. I may choose to do some things alone, but I never want to be alone, without Marcus. And, because of the blessing of eternal marriage, and I know I won't be. Blessing.

I am now a mom as well. Those who have children feel the same way I'm sure, but my life has become more complete since having Samantha and Callie. These are not the children I envisioned in my future family picture. They are more beautiful and perfect. Blessing.

Sammy on the Gonzaga Bulldog

Samantha continues to teach me how to improve my faith, patience, prayer, humility, hope, charity, and how to properly organize my priorities. She is our little star. She is a visual reminder that miracles are real and still happening, large and small. She is my sweet little girl and I love her more than I ever knew possible. Blessing.

Sammy on the swings

When we got Callie came quickly. I immediately fell in love with her, though it took time to feel like she was my daughter. With each passing day, I believe that bond grew, but it was one day in particular when I felt a special closeness to her. I felt a motherly love for her. That bond has grown so much stronger. When she cries or says "ma ma," my heart melts. I know Samantha thinks it, and that is special to me, but to hear Callie say it and seek my comfort..well, it's something that I've been waiting to hear for a long time. I have always felt that Callie was supposed to be in our family. And now we are sealed and she will forever be in our family. Blessing.

Callie loving graham crackers

Callie definitely made our family more complete. It's hard to explain that feeling, but there is a feeling of, um... more completeness. I don't feel like the family is done, but getting there. That brings peace. Blessing.

"No Mommy. You're the cutest."

Since moving to Spokane, Samantha has received therapies superior to what she's ever had...and we loved our past therapists. She gets physical and speech therapy twice a week and occupational therapy once a week. Her physical therapist is one of the best in the city. She is also getting craniosacral therapy about every other week from #1 and #2 in the city. I've already seen improvements. Blessing.

#3 Change is good. It's great in fact. Sometimes it's hard, but it's a great thing that stretches us. I have a list of things I want to do in life and sometimes circumstances make it so I can't do some of those, write my many books, start a business, run a marathon, continue my education. That doesn't mean that the change that doesn't allow us to do some of these things is bad. I didn't get my masters because I got married and had kids right away. Does that make my family a bad thing? No. It just means my masters plans will change and may have to come later. Or, the book I've started has to go on hold because Samantha has 6 appointments in 5 days. My time is stretched to the limit and writing isn't my priority on my spare time. That doesn't make Sammy's therapies bad; it changes the situation. Change, ultimately, has been a good thing, if not a blessing throughout my life. I'll get to those places I want to travel to, I'll get my books written, and I'll finish that marathon or triathlon one day. It'll happen, when the tides change. Until then, I adjust to this new change in my life, love it, and learn from it. And along the way, I'm sure new opportunities will present themselves.

(** I can't get the fonts to match up and it's driving me crazy bringing out some of my obsessive tendencies! NOT a blessing.)


rachel said...

Jenny, I'm sorry to hear you are sick. But I'm so glad you posted this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are great!

Erin Ames said...

Your girls are so beautiful. What a sweet posting...thanks.

Heidi Ashworth said...

I really appreciated this post. I have been where you are. I hope that one day you get to be where I am becaust it's a blast! Not to say that there won't be many more hard days to come--there will be and I know it but I am making hay while the sun shines! It does go by so fast--I love that Callie calls you mama! Of course, she does, what else, but still, in this situation it feels more like you earned it, somehow, and it is all the sweeter since you have been waiting for so long.

Courtney said...

I love those pictures of samantha and callie! so cute!
That was a great post Jenny.


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