Waiting for One More

Until we get home from vacation, I can't post any of our fun family Christmas pictures. Until then, I want to share something I have been thinking a lot about this week.

As many, if not all, of you know, we prayerfully made the decision to adopt our next child. I am so glad that I had the privilege of being pregnant and giving birth, and desperately want that experience again. I now know why they call it the "miracle of birth" and I feel so fortunate and truly grateful that I have had the opportunity to experience that all first-hand. But I also feel blessed to be able to experience the gift of adoption. I can't imagine how hard it is for these birthmothers. It is a completely selfless act when they give their child to an adoptive family. I respect the birthmothers that can take an unexpected and scary situation and turn it into a blessing for others. Our family, certainly, will not be complete without someone else's loving sacrifice, for which we will be eternally grateful.

Right now, we are in the process of waiting for one more to enter our home. And the waiting process can feel discouraging. There are so many families that want to adopt a baby, and we are just one of those thousands. As more and more of our friends become pregnant (and we sincerely are happy and excited for you) it makes the "waiting" period feel a little longer. I feel like things are so out of our control at times (just like I'm sure many who can't seem to get pregnant must feel). I do believe, however, that the right child will come into our home, no matter how long that may take. I honestly believe that. And I've been blessed with opportunities to feel the Spirit remind me that this all is out of our control, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And really, I would rather have God align everything for me, yet it's still hard to hand over the game controller and say "Here you go. Move me where you want, add another player when you want." Theoretically it sounds really easy, but in practice, I have found it to be a completely different experience. Recently as I have prayed for help in doing this, I have become a happier person. Funny how that works huh? You do what God wants and you're happier. I really do believe that Heavenly Father will direct our paths, and our birthmother's, so that those paths will cross. Holly and Chuck, Marcus's aunt and uncle, have adopted 2 kids and have had 2 children by birth. She explains it like this (Holly, I hope you don't mind me sharing this): "Before we came to this earth, we knew we would be a family. Some of you came to this earth by me, some of you by someone else. It doesn't matter what you look like or how you got here. Your spirits are the same and we are the family Heavenly Father wants us to be." Doesn't that just seem right? I believe that the baby that is supposed to be in our home will come and that the birthmother will recognize us when she sees us and reads about us. Whether the baby is black, white, boy, girl, tall, short, whatever -- the right one will find us.

In the meantime, we feel the need to look for that child. Maybe it just makes us feel better knowing we are doing something...because it is really hard to just sit and hope someone calls. We are telling everyone we know that we are waiting to adopt. Perhaps word will get around and a friend of a friend will know someone who is looking for a family for their child. Who knows. But until the day comes, we continue to pray for the birthmom and our new little baby, whoever that may be.

Our adoption profile is open to anyone who is interested in looking at it. Thank you all for your wonderful love and support.

What Kind of World Do You Want

Last night I received an email from an old high school friend. In the email was a link to a video created by parents of an autistic little girl. Five for Fighting has a website that donates money to various charities each time one of these videos is viewed. Every time this particular video is viewed, 40 cents goes directly to Autism Awareness. (I have now linked this website 3 times in this blog entry...you should be able to find it without a problem.) Though Samantha doesn't have autism, I couldn't help but think of our little girl. When we found out we were pregnant, she was this perfect little child and we had so many hopes and dreams for her. Then, you find out things won't be exactly as planned. Your hopes and dreams are still there for your child, they just become different. You pray for each day -- for any small progress...a seizure-free day...and that she will be happy and healthy. We pray that she will stand and walk on her own. We pray that she will be surrounded by good people who will love her -- and not be cruel because of her set backs or physical appearance. We pray she will have supportive friends. We pray that she will know that we adore her, want what's best for her, and even though things may be hard for her, that we are forever by her side. We pray that she, above all, will be happy and optimisitic -- that she will know she is a child of a Heavenly Father who deeply loves her. I guess no matter what the situation is, we all want the same thing for our kids. Take a minute to view this video at least once. As Christmas quickly approaches, take some time to hug the ones you love a little longer.

I Am Legend

"In the second he had felt no heartbeat beneath his trembling fingers, the core of his brain seemed to hav epetrified, sending out jagged lines of clcification until his head felt like stone. Slowly, on palsied legs, he had sunk down on the bed. And now, vaguely, deep in the struggling tissues of thought, he did not understand how he could sit there, did not understand why despari did not crush him to the earth. But prostration would not come. Time was caught on hooks and could not progress. Everything stood fixed. With Virginia, life and the world had shuddered to a halt."

"Slowly he dug, pushing the shovel into the soft earth, the bright sun pouring heat into the little clearing like molten air into a dish. Sweat ran in many lines down his cheeks and forehead as he dug, and the earth swam dizzily before his eyes. Newly thrown dirt filled his nostrils with its hot, pungent smell."

These are a couple reasons why I stayed up late to finish I Am Legend. Only 170 pages long, there was no logical reason for me to take longer than a few days to read the book. But, in my opinion, Matheson's writing was perfectly descriptive. His word choice and sentence fluency together makes for a easy, smooth, thrilling read. I was warned by my friend that this book had freaked her out in high school. So, I was prepared for sleepless nights upon beginning the read. A tale of vampires that seek fresh blood each night isn't quite the bedtime story that most would want to read, but I really liked it. I wasn't scared at all. It was intense, but did not scare me. The main character, Robert Neville, swollows his sadness away in too much whisky and is quick to anger. But I guess being the only human left on earth could lead to a touch of depression. It was violent at times, but the language was clean. I found the book to be clever and I didn't want to put it down. And though Marcus and Sam Mangum both will argue that the "movie is more accurate than the book" (very funny guys), I am planning on the movie being very different, which I know will disappoint me, but I'm sure will entertain.

Murder on a Girls' Night Out

No, this is not a confession, but rather the title of a book I recently finished reading. By Anne George, this fun, light murder mystery was easy and enjoyable to read. It wasn't extremely deep and thought provoking, just fun. I believe it is one in a series of books about 2 older southern sisters, Patricia Ann and Mary Alice, who find themselves stuck in situations of death...and despite their shock, fear, and southern polite dispositions, they help solve the mystery! It's quite fun. Thank you Peggy Green for recommending it while we were in California for Thanksgiving.

Hair Galore

Well, there is one thing for sure that Samantha isn't lacking, and that's a full head of hair! On Friday we had her first successful ponytail. No clips, gel, hairspray, nothing. It was the real deal. I didn't get any good pictures of the ponytail, but I did get a good shot of her pigtails from a few days earlier. AH! So cute! (Even though the reflection on her bangs makes her look like she has one severe baby unibrow. ugh.)

My New Favorite

This is my new favorite Daddy/Daughter picture. So cute -- both of them.

Wedding for Rose

The weekend before Thanksgiving I had the wonderful opportunity to fly out to Atlanta for my friend's wedding. Rose has been one of my closest friends since our days in the MTC. She is kind, patient, and a sincerely good friend. Plus she's a hoot! In the MTC and in our room during our days at BYU, we often stayed up all night laughing. She's simply great. She's one of those people that you just want them to experience great, happy, wonderful things. So, not only was I thrilled for her, but it was, quite honestly, a blast! I ...

* rented a car and was upgraded to amazing mini SUV with GPS
* stayed in a room with 2 of my old roommates (and 2 babies -- Samantha and Reid)
* stayed up way too long whispering (so we wouldn't wake up the lil' ones)
* laughed through the night (which is hard to do when you are trying to laugh quietly)
* witnessed a beautiful sealing
* hung out with 2 of Rose's other good friends and, can I just say, I love Nikki and Jessy
* got 5 hours asleep Friday and Saturday night combined -- OUCH
* danced the night away

I could not be happier for Rose. Daniel is so great and you could just see the love oozing out of their ears! :) Yeah for love!