Well, as an adoptive mom I believe that nurture plays a large role in who we become. How we are raised. Those daily lessons, interactions, and snuggles are quite important.
BUT, as an adoptive mom I believe that nature plays a large role in who we become. How we are made. Those spindley things called DNA are quite important.
I don't see how we are whole without either of these...nature, nurture. Let's talk nature. If we ignore our roots, aren't we denying a large part of who we are? And isn't that important? It's something I've struggled with because we know so little about Callie's roots. We know Micah's roots. We see Micah's roots. But for Callie, for the time being, there's so much that is unknown....
The truth is, we can survive without knowing our biological background. It's not essential to life. Nurture is. For children who aren't spoken to, touched, or taken care of...the results are catastrophic. It's visible. For those children and adults who don't know their biological background, they are able to still function in society...so does it make it less important? Quite frankly, there's probably a strong argument that it's NOT has important, and I see those points. But my job as a mother is to nurture and love my child so much that they have no choice but to feel successful in life...true success...I'm not talking about high paying jobs, name and face plastered on billboards and magazine covers. I'm talking about they feel so much love that they are able to successfully accept others, give their hearts to others, and have a relationship with their Father in Heaven. That's success to me. And so as a mom, I find it my job to make sure my children know that I love ALL parts of them...including roots that may not have been formed by me. If I never talk about those, without knowing it, I could be sending a message that I don't accept or love those roots, those parts of my children, as much as those parts that identify with OUR family.
We entered adoption with Callie as an open adoption. We lost contact with Callie's birthmother soon after. But that doesn't mean we can't still have an open adoption. How? We are open about who she is and where she came from. We are open with our hearts and our love for all who are a part of her life. We celebrate every part of her and hope to one day reconnect with her roots. And she knows it. Open adoption with Callie means we are supportive of her path and are hopeful that it leads back to her birth family one day.
My article of our how can be supportive of that journey, and why we should be, can be found on Adoption.com here.
I can't believe this was a year ago! Callie will be seven waaaay too soon!!!