So, as I was putting up the last post, Samantha was screaming in her crib, and I feel bad about this, I really do. Here's the deal (and Danette, I know you get will understand this), I can no longer have a child who doesn't sleep. I just can't. I'm spent -- emotionally and physically. There comes a point when a woman needs to sleep!
Samantha always had had sleeping problems, but we had gotten through it. She was at the point where she was sleeping through the night. Then, when she was 7 mths old, she began her seizures. This completely changed everything. I'm speeding through our seizure history here, but the seizures got so bad that we had to sleep with her; at least that was the only way we felt comfortable about the entire situation. We had to be able to stop any "big" seizures, and the only way we would know if she was having a "big" one, is if we saw or felt it. Well, Samantha decided that sleeping with us was the best way to sleep.
We have done this so many times, reteaching her to sleep on her own, fall asleep on her own, and be a happy restful child. But each time she had another seizure episode, we went back to square one and it was worse. The older she gets, the more determined she is to get what she wants.
Her seizures have been under control, thankfully, for over a month now. Marcus and I have discussed starting this process over again, but I was hesitant. I told him I didn't want to start until we could be consistent, and I wasn't feeling like I could be consistent. I hate hearing her upset. It makes me sad. I can just imagine her in there as she screams, thinking "Why? What did I do? When did things change? Mommy. Mommy! Mommy?" It's sad.
But, today is the day. I can no longer do it. Last night, I literally slept approximately 3 hours. I can't do that, and neither can she. So if it takes a week of screaming, I can handle it, and so can she. Samantha may have a small brain, but she's a smart girl. She'll figure out that it's time to sleep. Her body will tell her that. We have the ear plugs handy, right on the night stand, so we can take turns each night getting a good night sleep during this process. I say I get the first night of peaceful sleep. If anyone has any better ideas that don't seem so emotionally abusive, I'm interested. In the meantime, I'm going along with my sister's plan, and what we've used in the past. Hopefully, this time, no medical emergencies will interfere with this working long term. Sweet dreams to all...maybe it is just a fantasy. I'll let you know.