Today, I received word that her husband was found dead along a river in New Jersey -- a kayaking accident. At 33 years old, he is dead, and Xenia is left not only to raise her child alone, but is left without her best friend. I interacted with Xenia for only one semester, but this has impacted me so deeply. Perhaps it's because she's Hungarian and I feel this protectiveness for Hungarians. Perhaps it's because I also have a husband and kids. Maybe it's both. All day I've been thinking about it and wondering what I can do. Of course, there's not much one can do in this situation. I have prayed throughout the day, and I did put her and her daughter's names on the prayer roll tonight in the temple. But, still. I'm unsatisfied.
I thought of what it would be like to be her. To call the police at 4:30am to report your husband missing. To find out they had found his kayak with all his personal information (wallet, cell phone, keys) remaining inside. To get a call from the police saying they found his body. To not know exactly what happened that led to...here. I can't imagine. My heart aches for her. If I were to lose Marcus, I would be an emotional mess. Sure I'd have to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart and spirit, because you have to, especially when you have kids to take care of, but I honestly don't know what I'd do -- how I'd pick up the pieces.
Tonight Marcus and I were in the temple and we did sealings. My appreciation and deep gratitude for the gospel was greatly amplified as we participated in these special ordinances. I am eternally grateful for the sealing power and what that means for my specific family, and for Xenia's. I am also grateful that Teryn lived his life in such a way that will leave his family proud. From what I know and have heard of him, he was incredible. I am grateful that he left a legacy of compassion, service, and faith. I hope I make decisions and live my life in a way that will have the same affects on those around me. Teryn, thank you for the example.
Xenia, nagyon sajnalom neked es Alexisnak. Egyutt lesztek ujra. Bisztos vagyok benne. Most, nem lesz konnyu, de jobb lesz, majd, amikor a szived meggyogyit. Szeretunk teged, es imadkozzunk erted.
1 comment:
oh, jenny, that is so sad! that was a really nice post, though. i hope all goes as well as can be expected for xenia.
i loved your post about running. you are so funny. sometimes it is NOT fun, but you get such a great feeling of accomplishment. did you get into the provo half? that was my first half with crystal ellis...3 years ago. i told myself i would never run again, but look at the last three years!
and i loved your post on my blog...i'm sure i'm going through nothing compared to your physical and occupational therapy, but it's nice to see the improvement. what amzing little spirits these little bodies have, huh?
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