It's easy to sometimes think Samantha is doing something new, progressing on some level, but then talk ourselves out of the idea. I'm not sure why we do that. Perhaps it's because we have decided to more fully believe others who are filled with doubts regarding Sammy's future than our own paternal instincts and, frankly, knowledge. I see her doing great and amazing things that sometimes she doesn't repeat for months down the road. But still, I know what I see, or hear. I know what I know. But still, I sometimes think to myself, "Oh, that was just an accident. She didn't mean to do that." Why? Why do I do that? Shouldn't I always assume that she did, in fact, mean to do that? As her mother and as her advocate, I should be the one, even if I'm the only one, who is cheering her on and giving her credit for every single little thing she accomplishes. I am always cheering her on, but it's only most of the time that I, myself, truly believe what I see. That makes me sad. And everyday I try to have more faith in her abilities. It's really not as bad as it sounds, I don't think. I believe Samantha is quite capable of a lot more than what she is currently doing, and I believe that we will continue to see miracles with this girl. Just sometimes, I guess I have felt like I have to assume the worst...assume that she isn't doing things with purpose. I feel a lot of pressure to not assume my child is greater than she is. Isn't that just wrong?! I mean, really. Mothers should never feel pressure to think their child is anything than what they are. And quite frankly, I believe that each child is more amazing than we realize. So, mothers, and fathers, think your kids are amazing -- because they are.
With that said -- wow, guess I had to get something off my chest, eh? -- Samantha has had a great week. It's been really fun. First of all, drinking the Capri Sun (which is funny because I actually just typed Crapi Sun...oops) was a really cool thing to witness for 2 reasons. #1 -- Samantha is definitely starting to show her likes and dislikes more. I like seeing that, and it's a huge developmental accomplishment when one can clearly demonstrate what he/she likes or dislikes. So, yippee for you Sammy. And even better is #2 -- I didn't know Samantha could drink out of a straw. For a long time we worked on it. She got it, kind of. And, I gave up. I thought, she can drink out of her Avent cup, that's good enough for now. About 1 year later, with no exposure to straws, she, on her own, understood to suck out of the straw to get to that really yummy sugary juice! Now, that was exciting for me.
Also this week, we've had some improvements with her language. We haven't had speech therapy since we left Spokane, and this has been really bothersome to me. Samantha gets it in school, but I don't think it's nearly enough. Back in Spokane we not only had the best SLP -- oh Carly how we love you -- but Sammy was meeting with her twice a week. Now, nothing. It's frustrating to me, so we continue to do what we can at home. I've been working on "more" a lot with her. It was a few weeks ago now when I was giving her pretzels in the car and she said "mo." That was exciting stuff. But since then, we've been able to get some "mo" out of her from time to time. And even better, there is a strong distinction between her "mo" and "no." It definitely takes the right motivation. And once again, Capri Sun has pulled through. Sammy was drinking the Capri Sun, took a break and starting jumping in excitement -- or sugar rush, not sure which. We laughed and I asked "Sammy, do you want more?" She stopped jumping and said, "Mooo." So, mo' she got. Peggy was walking down the hall and I called her in so she could witness it. "Sammy, do you want mo?" Samantha stopped, and clearly said "no." As she did so, she took her hand it swept it to the side, like she does when she no longer wants food at any given meal. But still, we asked again, and she said "nnnoooo." It was so clear. So purposeful.
Our little Samantha clearly knows what she wants, and she is finally starting to be able to let us know. In this moment, I couldn't be happier!