This morning Samantha went to school just like every other Monday, except today the school bus took her, not me. I know it'll be better for a lot of reasons, but I admit, I cried as Alice (our bus driver) strapped her in. And then they drove away.
It's not that big of a deal, I know. But I cried Samantha's first day of school too. It's time away from me -- that we aren't together. I know it's good for her. I do. But after years of taking care of her, and worrying about her...this is just another chunk of time that I can't keep tabs on her.
But, I remind myself of what Heidi (Marcus' aunt) told me when her son, Michael (also a little guy with special needs) got on the bus for school. The first day she cried, and the second day she did a little jig. I'm sure the jig-ging will come. But today, I know she's on the bus now, headed home, and wonder how she's doing. Oh my little little tiny girl is on a SCHOOLBUS! I imagine she is either falling asleep -- which she frequently does on the way home from school -- or she's giggling at the rumbling sounds of the bus. Either of those options would make me happy. And shortly, I'll get the report.
Aw, my little Sammy.