It has caused some problems in my life -- stress, weight gain, zits. Whatever. But that happens when I over-do it. I haven't learned my lesson about overdoing it quite yet, but I think I'm learning. My problem is, I love being busy. I love feeling productive. I love being a part of something that I feel passionately about. And, I feel passionately about a lot of things.
Passion #1: Callie
adoption. I'm pretty passionate about that subject as well. It has changed my life forever and I look forward to the other children that Heavenly Father has waiting for us via adoption. I look forward to our lives being touched by another birthmom. I'm looking forward to our future with adoption. So, yeah, I feel strongly about Callie and how she came to us.
Passion #2: Samantha
Passion #3: Marcus
We've had a lot going on lately.
Tonight we had a fundraiser for Samantha's therapy (which, I think, went amazingly well!).
We have a 5K planned for May.
We are waiting for a/our baby.
I'm writing a book and plan to submit it, hopefully, in May/June.
I've volunteered myself to advocate for Independence Network (a special needs program for adults that needs to remain in the county)
I'm one of the Assistant Directors for Girls' Camp this year (more on this later)
I'm in the YW Presidency
And then there's the usual everyday stuff.
I'm busy. We're busy. But busy does something to me that I like. Yes, I talked about the feeling of accomplishment and self-esteem boost that I get...but there is frustration in every single area of my life if I allow it. Let's take adoption, for instance. We want a baby. It's the truth. And I'm starting to get all weird about babies -- wanting to hold them all the time, stroking their cute little hair on their cute little heads...I'm going all weirdo. I imagine teaching Callie how to properly hold a baby. I imagine Samantha getting a little smile every time a new baby lets out a cry. That Samantha -- so compassionate. I imagine Marcus being a proud new daddy again. But, when I'm busy, I don't complain as much to myself, because, who has time? I still have my moments, and last week was particularly hard for me...but in general, when I'm busy and immerse myself in working on my projects or committees, or whatever, I tend to find more joy in my life.
That's why I like busy. That's why I do all the stuff that I do. It helps me feel joy because I don't dwell on the many frustrations that come with feeling so passionately about certain things in my life. Now, learning how to balance my busy, that's another story....