Wednesday, September 28, 2011

That Feeling...

There's a certain feeling you get when you feel like your feeling the feeling of feeling the Spirit.

It's true.

It's the "I think it may be the Spirit, but I'm not sure...maybe it's me, but it could be the Spirit..."  I have found in those times, for me, it is often the (upper case) Spirit nudging my own (lower case) spirit.

The past couple days have been crazy.  We're doing a lot, we're thinking a lot, we're having to make decisions, we're relying on the Lord for guidance.  And I think I'm feeling the Spirit.  I feel peace.  I feel calm.  And even when things may not look like 1 +1 = 2, it feels that why.  

I'm grateful for peace.  I'm grateful for the promptings we receive, but I think I'm even more grateful for the comfort that the Spirit offers.  I'm not sure what it is, exactly, I feel good about....if it's the optional decision I've been weighing in my mind and heart, or if that peace means that it will just all work out like it should ~ almost as if the decision will be made for me and I'll be good with that.

When Samantha was born, I felt peace.  At the time, I believed that meant Sammy would be OK.  Medically speaking, she wasn't OK.  But I learned something very valuable from that experience that has helped me out a lot.  It's the concept of trusting the Lord.  Even when I feel like my decision is made, and I feel that peace...I'm able to feel that acceptance that it's OK if the Lord alters that for me.  I couldn't do that before.  And, I'm probably not as good as I ought to be.  But, overall, I guess that's how I feel right now.  Does any of this even make sense?  The point: I trust the Lord.  I trust Him in all my decisions.  I trust Him in my life.  I trust Him with Samantha, and Callie, and Marcus, and me.  I trusted Him before this life, I trust Him now, and I trust that He will let me in on His plan and what He was thinking after this life!  And, ultimately, that's what brings me the peace.

So, when I feel like I'm feeling that feeling of feeling the Spirit, I can trust that maybe...just maybe I am...and I can go with it...and allow the Lord's hand to move in my life.

That feels good.

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