Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Details of My Awesome Day

Today I did something that I haven't done in a long time.  I enjoyed my day.  Thoroughly.  I usually am moving too quickly to really enjoy it.  I guess it's like eating super fast and not savoring it.  I don't savor my days enough.  This whole adoption thing has really affected me more than I had thought it would.  We went through another failed adoption about 6 months ago, and it didn't seem to affect me like this.  Anyway.  As I've gone back and forth with how I feel about it all, what I do feel is extreme gratitude for my family.  That's a good thing.  I've also slowed down.  And it's so good.  So nice.

I like this pace.  I feel like I have gotten back to where I want to be.  It's place that I've tried to get to but haven't been successful in doing it alone.  I guess I needed to feel a little heartbroken and crushed...coerced to slow down.

Today, I got Sammy ready for school.  Callie and Sammy ate breakfast together.  We watched 1/2 hour of tv as we "woke up" and then turned it off.  Sammy went to school and Callie and I went to the gym.  After, instead of rushing to take my shower, I asked Callie if she wanted a picnic.  We drank our smoothies together in the sunshine.  It was nice.

While Callie was at preschool today, I didn't worry about being "productive."  I ate lunch slowly and enjoyed the sunshine.  I saw the Ensign came and read a conference talk.  I took that time for me...not for my callings or other projects (which are all great things), but for Me.  Me is a good person and I forget she needs to slow down and breathe sometimes.

Callie, Sammy, and I took a walk/wagon ride.  I suggested it.  Callie didn't have to ask me to go on a walk.  It just seemed like a good day to go for a walk and check out snails and smell the gorgeous roses that we pass by.  Callie said something, I can't remember what, and she made me laugh really hard.  Sincerely.  And she laughed.  I looked back, and Sammy was just completely chill.  Awesome.

After dinner, I suggested baths, because Callie and Sammy both love them.  Fantastic fun for everyone!  Callie went to the mall with Grammy and Sammy and I went for a wee run.

When Callie came home, Sammy was beginning her evening slumber as the lavender and lemon lulled her to sleep...and so, I suggested Callie and I play Cootie.  Oh, her eyes lit up when I suggested it.  It brought me so much joy.  Cootie it was.  Then a little read from Curious George before potty (oh, and Sammy peed on the potty again today, by the way), teeth brushing, and prayers.  As I laid in bed with Callie, scratching her back, she told me her favorite parts of the day...and we just talked.  I love that girl so much.  Both of my girls.

Marcus got home very late after a rough, looooong workday.  It's too bad he didn't have my day.

I know these are all just boring details to some, but these are details I don't want to forget.  This was, quite honestly, one of the best days I've had in a long time.  And...if we're looking for a theme here...it seems what is often repeated was that I was the one who suggested things.  I was the one who initiated activities and together time.  Today brought me so much happiness.  And at the end of THIS day, I have relearned that we are in charge of our days, of our outcomes.  If we want to be happy, it's up to us.  We can be proactive...or anti-active.  Whatever.  The point is, today was awesome and I am going to be more proactive from here on out.  Case closed.

1 comment:

Larissa said...

I could picture your bright smile, laugh, and excited talking the whole time I was reading this. Wonderful:-)


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