Thursday, June 3, 2010

I Just Don't Know

So, there's this place called Scribbles and Giggles. Sounds great right? I mean, really, who doesn't want to scribble and giggle all day long? Certainly not me. I wouldn't want to miss out on that action any day of the week. So, if it's so great, why the dilemma. Wait, let me first tell you the dilemma.

It's about our lil' Samsquatch. See, this Scribbles and Giggles is a "Pediatric Day Health Center." Translation: Day Care for Special Needs Kiddos Great. Samantha's bus driver has given me brochures and keeps suggesting to me that I should call them to set things up. She said she takes kids there all the time right after school. I've thought about it on and off. You have to attend once a week to keep your spot. They are full now, but when I called to gather more information, they said they'd have openings in July -- that's fine. I'm in no rush whatsoever.

The idea would be this:
Once a week (Wednesdays because they are "short" days at school), the bus takes her to Scribbles and Giggles. That would give me 3 extra hours to get things done around here. Then I go there to pick her up. All the employees are nurses, and the building (I am told) is connected to a hospital. You have to medically qualify -- so not just any kid can go there. All the kids have special needs and require a certain level of attention.

* I'd have an extra few hours on Wednesdays
* Sammy may learn to be a little more independent entering a new atmosphere
* It gives her other social opportunities outside of school and church
* Insurance pays for it
* I'd have an extra few hours on Wednesdays -- wait, did I mention that already?

* Essentially she'd be attending day care, and I'm not sure how I feel about that
* I wouldn't be with Samantha during those few extra hours that I'd have on those Wednesdays, and I wonder if it's worth it
* I might miss her

So, what do I do? I'm scheduling a fancy schmancy tour so I can see their program. I think it's more than just sitting around and playing. When the kind lady on the phone suggested I take a tour to see their facility and program, it sounded like there was more to it than just a day care -- and I know they do therapy and activities there. hmmm hmmmm indeed. I told the kind lady on the phone that I wasn't sure I was going to do it...putting Sammy on the bus was hard enough. She laughed and said she understood. I don't think she really did understand, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. The questions that are swirling around in my mind are -- am I a bad mom for thinking of doing this? What makes me believe that I need to do this? Would it actually make a difference (because maybe it would be more of a pain 'cause I have to drive there and pick her up anyway)? Does this make me a bad mom? Does this make me a bad mom? Does this make me a bad mom? Because I really really don't want to be a bad mom. If it were someone else asking me this, I'd say, "Girl, do it. This doesn't make you a bad mom." But if I'm feeling slightly guilty, than maybe I'm being selfish or something. But then I think...I felt guilty for putting Sammy on the BUS. What's a mom to do?! Heavens to Betsy!


mj said...

i'm not sure i could EVER put you in the bad mom category. actually, i am SURE that i could NOT do it. i think, whatever you decide, will be right. there are pros to both. if you decide to let her attend, she'll be learning and growing and interacting and getting things that she couldn't otherwise. if you decide to not let her attend and spend that time with her, she will be learning and growing from YOU and interacting with YOU and getting things that she couldn't otherwise. it's kind of a win-win, no matter what you decide. i know that doesn't help you make your decision, but it is your decision...and i don't think there's a bad choice here. :)

Bryant and April said...

I think it sounds great actually. I totally understand that Sammy is different than other children, but it sounds more like a "preschool" than a day care to me. Plus it would give you a few extra hours with Callie. Think about that! And this may be something really special for Sammy, especially when you get baby #3. If you like the tour, and like what they have to offer Sammy, I think you should go for it. If it seems to be too much for either of you, you can always tell them thanks but no thanks! Good luck in whatever you decide!

Jordan and Ariana said...

I say go for it! Yes, you might feel bad for dropping her off somewhere else, but you need a break too. You'll have a chance to have a break and then you'll be renewed to have Sammy back home.

Emily said...

I can totally empathize. At moment's like these my sister Cath would say "Guilt Parenting is the worst!" Don't let your decision, whatever it is, be motivated by guilt!

Heather said...

I say go for it, there are things that us moms can't teach and it seems that the teachers there can. Plus it is only 1 day a week. You do what feels good for you, luckily we have that feeling we get as mothers and it will let you know what is right.

maryirene said...

you'll know what's right for you two in your heart.
my opinion is it could be great. i know i need a little break from sam from time to time and that was a big part of putting him in preschool last january. it ended up helping not only me, but it truly helped him. he was able to interact with new people, learn new things, work on his speech with kids his age, and he was so proud of himself for going. sometimes i felt weird coming home to an empty quiet house, but when i picked him up i usually felt recharged and ready to be a better mom. i know our situations are different, but that is how it worked out for us.
again, i know you'll do what is right for you and samantha. good luck!
p.s. i agree with maren, you are not a bad mom for thinking about this or even doing this program.
love ya.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I don't think you could EVER be called a bad mom! This sounds like a great place for Sammy to go. Lots of other kids to socialize with and therapists and nurses to help her grow and learn. Of course, she would get that with you as well, and school. But honestly, if it gives you more time with Callie? That is a good thing too. It's hard to get one on one time with "the other" kid.

Courtney said...

I will just quote you: girl, do it! you are NOT a bad mom!

It seems to me that your only hang up is that you never wanted to put your kids in day care. It can be really hard to get over those preconceived notions, but like one of the other comments said, it sounds more like a preschool. It sounds like it could be beneficial for her AND for you.

But you have to do what feels right for YOU. Like maren said, there is no wrong decision here. Just don't let your decision be based on a stigma you have against day care or because you think it would make you a bad mom. Seriously, Jenny? You are a truly amazing mom. If you were a bad mom, you wouldn't care about how this would impact your family. Trust yourself and your decisions!

JAZKK Low said...

Maren's right. YOu could NEVER be a bad mom! :) I say give it a is free, try it out, see how you feel about it and then keep doing it or stop! It sounds like a great place for her to learn to be more independent, good environment. Just do you tour, see how you feel, and never think you are a bad mom!!! That can't be part of this decision. It's ONLY 3 hours and could be a good opportunity for her. I think you'll just have to go with your gut, see how you feel and if it works for you and for her!

Laura said...

I also think it sounds great!!! Our situation is different from yours but I have been trying to figure out if preschool would be an okay thing for our son to do. I mean, am I just being selfish in trying to get a few more hours on those days (he would for 4 days a week)? I realized that Josh NEEDS those hours each day away from us and with other kids his age so he can really learn to socialize and have fun. That was my solution, anyways. I know you're a great mom and you'll figure out exactly what your little girl needs.


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