So, there's this place called Scribbles and Giggles. Sounds great right? I mean, really, who doesn't want to scribble and giggle all day long? Certainly not me. I wouldn't want to miss out on that action any day of the week. So, if it's so great, why the dilemma. Wait, let me first tell you the dilemma.
It's about our lil' Samsquatch. See, this Scribbles and Giggles is a "Pediatric Day Health Center." Translation: Day Care for Special Needs Kiddos Great. Samantha's bus driver has given me brochures and keeps suggesting to me that I should call them to set things up. She said she takes kids there all the time right after school. I've thought about it on and off. You have to attend once a week to keep your spot. They are full now, but when I called to gather more information, they said they'd have openings in July -- that's fine. I'm in no rush whatsoever.
The idea would be this:
Once a week (Wednesdays because they are "short" days at school), the bus takes her to Scribbles and Giggles. That would give me 3 extra hours to get things done around here. Then I go there to pick her up. All the employees are nurses, and the building (I am told) is connected to a hospital. You have to medically qualify -- so not just any kid can go there. All the kids have special needs and require a certain level of attention.
* I'd have an extra few hours on Wednesdays
* Sammy may learn to be a little more independent entering a new atmosphere
* It gives her other social opportunities outside of school and church
* Insurance pays for it
* I'd have an extra few hours on Wednesdays -- wait, did I mention that already?
* Essentially she'd be attending day care, and I'm not sure how I feel about that
* I wouldn't be with Samantha during those few extra hours that I'd have on those Wednesdays, and I wonder if it's worth it
* I might miss her
So, what do I do? I'm scheduling a fancy schmancy tour so I can see their program. I think it's more than just sitting around and playing. When the kind lady on the phone suggested I take a tour to see their facility and program, it sounded like there was more to it than just a day care -- and I know they do therapy and activities there. hmmm hmmmm indeed. I told the kind lady on the phone that I wasn't sure I was going to do it...putting Sammy on the bus was hard enough. She laughed and said she understood. I don't think she really did understand, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. The questions that are swirling around in my mind are -- am I a bad mom for thinking of doing this? What makes me believe that I need to do this? Would it actually make a difference (because maybe it would be more of a pain 'cause I have to drive there and pick her up anyway)? Does this make me a bad mom? Does this make me a bad mom? Does this make me a bad mom? Because I really really don't want to be a bad mom. If it were someone else asking me this, I'd say, "Girl, do it. This doesn't make you a bad mom." But if I'm feeling slightly guilty, than maybe I'm being selfish or something. But then I think...I felt guilty for putting Sammy on the BUS. What's a mom to do?! Heavens to Betsy!