Monday, May 31, 2010
20 Things Adoptees Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I thought this was a good book, and even though I wasn't in love with it, I will probably buy it to have on our shelves one day. Some of these things that I learned I needed to know...I didn't know. Some of it made sense. And some of it was just too weird for me. Weird is the wrong word...rather...foreign, I suppose. I'm not sure about some of the pyschology she has in there. I've talked to a few adoptees that didn't necessarily feel some of this primal loss that she talks about. Later in the book, I felt she was better at emphasizing that not ALL adoptees feel the way she explains, but to be prepared for it if the situation occurs. That made me feel a lot better about some of her own thoughts. Her credentials include having been adopted herself and being very involved in the adoption community -- which I value. But, some of it in the beginning was just too much for me...too thick with pyschological stuff that I wasn't sure about. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, not ready or whatever she would say. I enjoyed the book much more the more I read. It became much more real and understandable to me. I know my kids will experience some of this stuff, and I think it's important to always be open with them to help them deal with some of their own confusing thoughts and feelings. I was comforted knowing that we are already doing some of the things that she suggests in order to help adoptees understand their roots -- we celebrate not only her birthday, but the day she entered our family (as to help her understand that her birthday was special and that can be a connection with her birthmother -- but the day she became ours was our special day with her -- we celebrate our sealing day), I have a book I created that we can read that explains her adoption story (so she'll always know her story...no surprises), etc. Hopefully by doing some smaller things early on, it will help when she may have some bigger questions along the way. But isn't that what's parenting is all about anyway -- whether a child has been adopted or not?
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