Moving Forward

Adoption. It's about love, right? Yes, indeed. And fear, and anxiety, and stress, and frustration. Sheesh, I tell you what.

I have a file set up. It's title? Adoption 2009-2010. Well, I have a feeling I'll have to change the title to "Adoption 2009-2011." That's just crazy. We began the process in November, 2009. It's now October 2010, and we still are NOT approved. Can I tell you the frustration level is just a bit high? Actually, I take that back. It was a bit high. Things have taken a little turn.

Why aren't we approved yet?! Good question. I assure you it's not because we are thieves or secret spies. No no. We aren't approved yet because, I'd like to say California is all messed up...but I think it's really because it's all a part of a greater plan that has been taking it's little 'ole time unfolding before us. See, I truly do believe that Heavenly Father is in charge, and He knows when our baby is here for us. Right now, our baby isn't here. Our birthmother isn't ready.

On the logistical side of things...there is a law...the Adam Walsh Law. I think it's actually great. But this required a separate screening in both Utah and Washington (since we've lived there) and for whatever reason -- which we now know but would take too much effort to explain here -- it took FOR.EVER. to get back. Furthermore, since we are currently living with my in-laws, they need background checks as well. Thankfully, they were compliant. But my mother-in-law's prints were not. Her prints have been rejected multiple times and we are waiting to get clearance through a name check.

During the past year, I have often wondered what the hold up is. Callie was 8 months...beginning to placement. That's super fast, I understand. But this, this just seems unreal how many obstacles we were coming across. We've prayed. We've done what we could. And we wait.

Yesterday, my clearance came in. Now all we wait for is my mother-in-law's prints. And I feel like things are so much closer. And now, I'm beginning to be scared, and anxious, and stressed thinking about having another child! Isn't that scary?! But also so so so wonderful.

I've been starting to have some of those feelings I had when we were waiting for Callie. I'm starting to have thoughts about a little boy (we'll see), starting to have these little flutterings in my stomach and chest, starting to feel like things are much closer than they seem at this point...and that makes me so incredibly excited -- and a bit anxious.

We shall see. We're still not approved. But hopefully that's not too far off...and then....just keep moving forward I suppose.