Sunday, January 17, 2010

Getting Away from Comfort

This past Sunday I had a thought, that later bothered me. We were in sitting in church. Callie was sitting on Marcus' lap. He was reading a book to her. Samantha was sitting on my lap. I also had a book in my hands, but she was just flapping the pages back and forth. She likes that. I thought, "This is nice."

Samantha got a little fussy, so I took her out. In the foyer were a couple other moms with their kids. I started talking to a friend, Valary. Valary mentioned some tricks she uses to keep her baby, Sabrina, occupied through Sunday School, and for a split second I thought "Sunday School?" And it occurred to me that of course she takes Sabrina to Sunday School with her because Sabrina's not yet old enough for Nursery. Oh how quickly we forget. It was not that long ago, 6 months in fact, that we were still bringing Callie with us to Sunday School and Relief Society/Priesthood. And, I thought "This is nice." It's nice having that time while the kids are in nursery and I can really pay attention and listen to the lessons. It's nice to not have to juggle a baby and try to keep them quiet or occupied.

I'm comfortable.

I've been thinking about that a lot, and it's really bothering me. I'm excited for another baby. I am excited to have a newborn in my arms. A part of me -- the crazy part -- is even looking forward to getting up and having to feed a baby. I know. I told you it was the crazy part of me. It's just that I'm really wanting that...and I think it's Heavenly Father preparing me in small ways for a new baby in our home and for the added responsibility we'll have.

But the fact that I had those thoughts of how "comfortable" I am worries me. I know it's human, but this is a tool that the adversary uses on us, and I don't want to fall victim of that. When we allow ourselves to be comfortable with life, we cease pushing ourselves -- and we often cease seeking guidance from the Lord because we start making our own decisions. At least that is my pattern that I've noticed in myself. So, out with comfort! Yes, enjoy life. I believe in that, but for me, I believe I need to more actively seek the Lord out...or at least once I have, and once I feel like I've received an answer, I need to have faith in that plan and look forward to that -- keeping an eye single...

Life's a journey. Since when are we supposed to be comfortable and coast?


mj said...

This is why I always want to be more like you. :) You see the bigger picture rather than moaning about your trials or uncomfortableness. In fact, you make uncomfortableness (is that a word?) look comfortable. You're happy with the life you've been blessed with even though it's been far from easy in my opinion. I think that speaks worlds about your character and strength.

Want to go running sometime...before those 4am feedings start up again!?

Heather said...

I know I was so comfortable with just Lucy that it was so nice. We dind't have to pack a bag when we went places, she was potty trained ate lunch on her own--ya know almost 3!! Well in the hospital after I had Garrett I kinda had a sad moment thinking oh no! I have to take care of him, we are starting ALL over. I have to feed him and carry him. But it has been ok :)

yellow buttercups said...

Maybe this short interlude is a gift from Heavenly Father to feed your spirit. You have been so busy so long, maybe your cup can be filled with a little rest, a little comfort, so when it is time to be busy when the next blessed baby comes you will have the energy you need to take care of your family. And I am sure you know how sometimes those little zinger messages you get when you actually get to hear the lesson at Sunday School or Relief Society can be really valuable. So I figure this may be a different time and type of growth and Heavenly Father may inspire you in different ways during it. He knows you are a swell daughter and you are appreciating the present. Many of us forget how to do that as we wrestle the past and future. Maybe you got it just right Jenny girl!
Love, Jan

Ames Family said...

This is a great post Jenny and I can totally thanks. Sometimes I think ...ohh I can't wait till these babies grow I can be comfortable..and do what exactly?! It's times like right now that I'm spending my time exactly the way I should and I know if I get too comfortable I might start wasting my time. Sure it might be easier but I feel better about myself when I'm nurturing a child than when I'm watching a movie or surfing the net...and I know I'm spending my time well..and I'm growing as a person and yes relying on the Lord more.

Shian said...

Thank you for that thought! I think that I am way too comfortable with the way things are right now. Sometimes I get wondering if I want to start the whole new baby thing again. My son is nine. I haven't had to do all that for a long time. But I know it's what the Lord wants me to do. I better put more thought into preparing myself. You made me think!

Rob and Marseille said...

I'm in a comfortable stage w/michael...until he starts crawling ;)


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