There have been a few times in my life when I've been in crisis mode. Not crisis because of events that are going on, but because certain events AREN'T going on anymore in my life. When I got home from my mission, shortly after getting married (this in no way reflects my love for dear Marcus), when Samantha was about 11 months and I was getting a tad overwhelmed with her, and actually....recently...I just feel like I'm super boring and OLD. Back in the day, my glory days, I was a hoot, the life of the party. (Or so I thought) My identity was wrapped around the fact that I was a fun (and kind and all that other stuff) person. I was responsible and people called me "mature" for my age -- I really fooled 'em -- but I was fun. F. U. N. fun. I loved making people laugh, I was spontaneous, always up for most anything, threw parties, had egg fights (ouch), went to concerts, danced, contorted my face into really ugly looking faces and we took pictures of those faces, made crazy home videos....I was appropriately crazy. Sure sometimes I was over the top, but as long as we were all laughing, right? hmmm At times I have reflected on my past personality and think "I'm so different." In some ways this is a good thing. But in others -- I miss the Jenny of old. She was fun. She was carefree. She was who I still sometimes think I am, until I realize I'm not. And that's sad. I realize that I'm tired, boring, very scheduled, and practical. Aside from being tired, these aren't necessarily bad things. When I have these realizations, I change things up a bit to try to find old Jenny, and just make her Jenny 3.0 instead of Jenny .5...to wipe down the cobwebs and spring clean my soul.
And usually when this happens, I realize that I pretty much love my life, and I'm really not ALL that different. (There's something to be said for maturation, but that's for another day.) I still dance in the kitchen, make funny faces, sing really loud, enjoy a good concert now and again. Instead of making my own crazy home videos, I make our kids do them! I squish up their faces to make them make funny faces. We dance in the kitchen together. Some things haven't changed too much. I love my life.
I came across this video, and not only was I laughing, but it also made me feel great about the stage I'm currently in. Bring on the minivan, because you know what...in the words of Callie, it's just pretty much funky fresh.