Welcome 2010

I have good feelings about 2010. Not that I had bad feelings about 2009...that just doesn't sound like me. I can't picture myself saying on December 31, 2008, "Well now, I think 2009 is really going to stink this year...so let's just get it over with." No, that doesn't sound like me at all. But there's an excitement that I have for 2010. Scotty and Annie will have a little baby boy -- their first baby and first boy grandchild on the Green side. I'm scheduled to run two 1/2 marathons this year. Wow for me. I'll be turning 30 this year. BIG wowsers on that one. This year Marcus will, most likely, get his PhD. That is a great accomplishment, though he'll be embarrassed that I even mentioned that. He's so modest. This year he will, upon receiving his doctorate, find a job. And not just any job, but hopefully one in his field -- something that we could call and occupation, not just "job." That's kind of exciting to think about. With that will come relocation. That's scary and exciting. And in 2010, I hope to have another child enter our home. These are all very exciting prospects for the year and these are the things I've been focusing on the past few days. So, yes, I really believe that a lot is in store for us in 2010.

I've been so consumed with all of the great things ahead, that I haven't thought about anything else...which isn't a bad thing. A couple days ago, however, I was reminded of something. Sammy is 3.5 years old. This week she would have moved up from Nursery to become a Sunbeam in Primary. That's a pretty big deal. Many of the kids in Nursery moved up today to enter Primary. That is a very big step in their little lives. Marcus and I have decided to keep Sammy in Nursery another year. She'll be there with Callie, which will be nice, but mainly it just makes sense for her to stay there one more year. It never bothered me, the thought of her staying in Nursery...until recently. And evenstill, "bother" isn't really what I feel. Or maybe it is. I don't know.

Scotty with Sammy when she was about 3 months old -- maybe younger. She was so little! And she still loves to curl up and sleep this way. Some things never change.

For some reason, I have Primary Envy, a very rare and bad condition. Rare because most parents want to keep their kids in Nursery, keep them young, because after all they grow up so fast. Bad because, really, what's the point of allowing myself to feel this way? And I haven't had a moment like this in a long time. But a part of me is sad today (yes, I'm tearing up...which is only causing my congestion to get worse) that Sammy isn't moving up. And I recognize that she doesn't care -- that it's my problem. I get it. But the logic, knowing that she is happy where she is, doesn't make what I'm feeling any less real, as silly as it is.

And it makes me sad to think that had she moved up, she'd just be a problem for the teacher. I don't want to ever think of Sammy as a problem for anyone. That breaks my heart -- and now I really can't breath out of my nose. I wish I had never caught this horrible cold! I mean, really.

Sammy at about 7 months old. One of her many visits to the hospital after bad seizures -- her arm in a splint to keep her IV in place.

My comfort? I find it in knowing that Sammy is our little Sunbeam. Maybe not "technically" a member of the Sunbeam class, but she brings so much light to our home. And I find comfort in 2010. Silly? Maybe. I know we'll face trials this year, but I also know that there will be a lot of good -- and Sammy's sun beams will keep us smiling. I'm already breathing better. Life is so good that way.Sammy with Grandpa at Scotty and Annie's wedding April 2008.